I'm Just Saying

Okay. Let's just get this straight, once and for all.

They are called The Beatles.
Not the Beatles.
Not Beatles
And DEFINITELY not The Beetles.

If you get confused, it's written right on Ringo's drums.

Real updates in the near-ish future. Don't pass out from holding your breath.

Good luck to all of us. All fingers crossed.

As Always,

They All Come Out Of The Woodwork As Soon As You Enter International Water.

Hiya Kitties!

Welcome to my international post. Greeting from the Gateway to the West, Utah! I know that my trip went unannounced, so sorry if you have been looking for me in all of my regular stomping grounds and have not been able to find me.

Even though my life at home isn't overly stressful, it has been nice to get away, visit with my family that I don't see too often, spend loads of time with my super cute niece and enjoy all the fun that Utah has to offer us.

But, sadly there is one thing that I am still not loving. The bugs. I love my grandparents very much and their house has a lot of sentimental memories for me, but it also has a lot of bugs. Living in the country, it really is only a matter of time before these creepy things made their way inside.

In fact as I am writing this, two...no wait three giant spiders are dangling overhead. Oh wait, I just spotted another one. Four spiders. And last night as I went to put on my pajamas, a beetle (not the singing kind) fell out. If everyone hadn't been sleeping I would have for sure screamed. I always think the problem is going to get better, but sadly it never does. I'll just have to suck it up and put the fear out of my head. I just won't look up at the ceiling for a while. Besides, think how grateful I am for the small spiders we have at home.

Moving on. My cousins and I were able to the attend the Salt Lake Temple on Monday to do baptism for the dead. I strangely, even with all of my time down here, have never been to another temple besides the Alberta Temple. I appreciated the significant differences and styles between the two temples and was in awe and some bit jealous over the extra large change room and showers! Hopefully we might be able to attednd a couple other temples during my time here.

I sadly am not much of a traveller. I miss my home in the trees, my 'no kids allowed' ward and my funny roommate. But I have been enjoying all the extra time with my family, and delicious, delicious Mexican food.

That's about it for now. I will update again soonish. But in the meantime and in between time, best of luck to all of you.

As Always,

So I Play The Numbers Game To Find A Way To Say That Life Has Just Begun

Oh my. I do have a lot to discuss, sorry it has just taken me so long to actually write it on here.

I realize I am posting some of these stories out of chronological order, but I will write about the going ons at the 25+ Conference in due time. Patience, my dear, patience.

So Tuesday, along with Natalie Portman, Johnny Depp and Donald Duck, my birthday came around for another year.

Even though I was hopping to slip into 28 unnoticed, I knew with party throwing friends like mine, it was nearly impossible to not celebrate.

Last Sunday we had a jam packed beverage/karaoke party where we belted out horrifically cheesy pop songs, with mocktails in hand. Just like those old tyme Weekday Eves of yore, it was the perfect ending to an already bizzare week.

Monday, Jenny and I headed to my parents' house for a quieter celebration and a wonderful feast of my favourite foods, including hot dogs, which I don't understand excatly why, but I can't seem to get enough of these days.

So with my secret wish of a quiet birthday already gone, I have spent the rest of the week celebrating this funny milestone with dinners, lunches, ice cream and funny presents. It has been a blast, and I am grateful for all the love I have from friends and family.

It really is strange to be 28. Not that my life has change one bit from being 27, or that I even feel anything closer to 20 inside, but more the odd idea that 30 is in the not to distant future, or that even 18, feels like more than a lifetime ago. Where did time go? How did we get so old so quickly?

In any regard, I really am thankful for all that I have, and all of the countless people who really do love me. Thanks for making another birthday so successful.

Lots of new posts in the works. Keep your fingers crossed that they will be published soon.

Good luck to us all.

As always,

And I'm Not Quite Down With The Way They Roll

Sorry I haven't talked to you all in a while. It is hard to believe that it is June. How did we get this far into the year already?

Let's just get this out of the way, because I know you are all curious. No. I did not get the job that I interviewed for a few weeks ago. They paid fifty cents to send me a rejection letter that said they were "going in a different direction", whatever that means. But in any regard, onwards and upwards.

This past Saturday the ladies and I went to Calgary to see Sarah Slean in concert again. The show was simple, the theatre beautiful and Sarah's energy and passion infectious. I think this is why I love Peter Katz so much as well. Both Sarah and Peter put their all into their music and listening to them preform live is like receiving part of their heart. (I know, cheesy) It almost made me wish I was passionate about something more than just apples.

We got home much too late, and shopped in the big city a little too much, but we really did have a good time, and the concert was a perfect ending to a perfect day.

I often forget the good time that the three of us had living together. Some days it seems like more than a lifetime ago that we fell asleep on our front lawn or invented naan pizzas. Sunday night, if we hadn't had enough of each other already, Ashley came over to partake in our ever delicious Mexican food, and enjoy the craziness that is 'Saturday's Warrior.'

If you can believe it, I had never had the privilege of viewing this iconic Mormon movie. And just as I suspected, it was cheesier than I could have ever imagined. We spent the night on the floor, laughing at this over-the-top monstrosity.

The ease of summer is really upon us all, and I have enjoyed the warm evenings and carefree attitudes. It is funny what bit of sunshine can do to a person.

Keep your eyes open for new posts about the mixed emotion weekend that is the 25+ Conference (Seriously, am I that old?) Maybe keep a couple of fingers crossed on my behalf.

Keep doing what you're doing.
Good Luck, and by all means, God Speed.

As Always,

You Call It Stalking, I Prefer To Call It Research

Oh Kitties!

I think I have found a kindred spirit in the blogging world. (I need to start making more real life friends.) I thought for a minute I had stumbled into my long lost twin as I laughed at all of her humorous observations. I almost wished for a minute that I was cool enough to write a post in all lower case letters, but sadly all of my business writing classes in college taught me better.

It made me miss the kind of entries I use to write. Before I decided to cop out every post with questions stolen from Facebook. Back when I had scandalous, not so scandalous stories, when I updated more than just once a month, and this place use to be a funnier, not so down, place to hang out.

With summer soon upon us again, and a slew of new adventures sure to befall us, I figured it was time to start anew. Shake off the sadness of winter and remember how good I really do have it.

I am not sure if it was the more direct sunlight or if it was the newly greened grass and gorgeous blooming trees that have made me realize that things aren't so bad around here.

Sure, there is nothing new to report. Other than spring beginning for another year, life seems to be the exact same, spent with the same people, doing the same things. And yet I am still so grateful.

Grateful for:

The Three Musketeers, who on the outside will never be chosen for our own family based reality show, but can still have fun watching Nancy Grace.

A really funny roommate who entertains me everyday. Even if that means spending hours trying to pick out a movie to watch, or playing horrific games of MOC.

Friends, who despite not seeing as often as I probably should, still lend their support, make institute that much funner and keep me from starving to death.

My dear Eric, who despite the fact that I neglectfully forget to write almost every week,is still keeping his ever busy fingers crossed on my behalf.

An adorable niece who has all sorts of patience with me even though I have no experience with babies of any kind.

Stephen Harper for keeping me housed for yet another month.

And even an unplanned sabbatical, that I know will be over in the not too distant future.

So with only small amounts of trepidation, I quote again The Beatles.

"I've got to admit it's getting better
A little better all the time
It can't get no worse."

Keep doing what you're doing.

Stay tuned for post from all of our upcoming adventures.

As Always,

"I'm Good Enough, I'm Smart Enough And Doggonit, People Like Me"

Alright. How's about a midnight post for you all.

Let's start with the only real news that I have. I have a job interview tomorrow....today....Thursday. And strangely, I'M TOTALLY FREAKING OUT! (And sadly have for most of the week.)

Thankfully by the time you all read this is should be over. But please, just for me, just this once, say a little prayer on my behalf, make a wish on a shooting star for me, toss a couple of pennies into a wishing well, and Jenny, throw a bunch of flowers into the air and make a wish on them.

But in the meantime and in between time, I can still try and entertain you. (I know it isn't that great. Sorry.)

1. What song do you sing in the shower?
My ipod player is in our bathroom to make showering that much more fun. I usually listen to the playlist of my 2009 yearly cd. What is on it, you might ask? Well, you will just have to wait until December to find out. (Or ask Jenny, she already kinda knows.)

2. What's your best karaoke number?
Last time Jenny and I sang Karaoke, it was to "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun"

3. Favorite Christmas/Holiday song?
Bah Humbug. Christmas music :(

4. Best song for getting psyched up?
Are you kidding me? "You Make My Dreams Come True"--Hall and Oates

5. Best melancholy, rainy day mood song?
"Something Is Wrong"--Phantom Planet

6. What song did/will you dance to at your wedding?
We're not dancing. But let's imagine for one minute that I went crazy and decided to have a dance. How about "For Once In My Life"--Michael Buble

7. Best breakup song?
Ha ha! "Which To Bury, Us Or The Hatchet"--Relient K

8. What song takes you back to High School?
Oh my! "Crush"--Jennifer Paige

9. Do you sing a certain song to your kids?
Just because my Grandma no longer knows she ever sang it to us.

10. What song makes you cry?
Why would I ever cry over a song?

11. What song do you want played at your funeral?
"In My Life"--The Beatles

12. What song do you wish would start playing when you walked in a room?
"Short Skirt, Long Jacket"--Cake

13. What's a song you know every word to by heart?
There are too many to count.

14. What was the first 8-track/cassette tape/CD that you owned?
Tape--Sharon, Lois and Bram CD--Mariah Carey

15. What's your work-out jam?
I try to stay far away from any work out.

16. Best road trip song/album?
How about "Life Is A Highway"--Tom Cochrane (Just for a laugh)

17. Ever had a song dedicated to you?
Not that I can remember.

18. What song gets stuck in your head that you can't stand?
Anything by Lady Gaga!

19. Favorite classical piece?
How about "Blue Danube"--Strauss

20. No. 1 favorite artist?
Don't you know by now? The Beatles

21. No. 1 favorite album?
Abbey Road

22. No. 1 favorite song?
Who knows? It changes every day.

23. What's the last song you listened to?
"Who Taught You To Live Like That"--Sloan

Keep your fingers crossed.

As Always,

My Personal Rose Ceremony

Hey! Happy Friday to you all!

Alright. Who is excited for the story I am about to tell? (I am hoping that you all raised your hand.)

"and we begin..." (Thanks PK)

So Tuesday night I had a date of sorts. This is only blog worthy because of the lack of real one on one dating that occurs these days.

First of all I should tell you that this date was with the lovingly nicknamed 'Mormon Bachelor'. The one guy in our ward that is following Mr. Gary's "date 'em all" philosophy. This guy is making a point to date all of the girls in our ward, and since developing this plan in January, has asked out most of our Relief Society.

So finally my name came up on the list and Mr. Bachelor asked me on an Insti -Date, a concept I came up with a few months ago to help increase institute attendance. Essentially a date to institute, it's cheap, it's easy and people get to institute. (Sadly the guys in our ward haven't really embraced it as much as I had hoped. C'est la vie.)

So with my scriptures in hand, my date picked me up for the first institute class of the summer semester. And you know what, it wasn't that bad. The class was fine. The Dairy Queen hot chocolate drinkable (Who knew Dairy Queen had hot chocolate?) Really there wasn't a lack of conversation. All in all the whole night was a thumbs sideways.

But...

It seemed that we really had nothing in common. He discussed his hatred of city life, and his one day dream to live in a secluded cabin, told me that he didn't quite get the purpose of ipods, the internet or really technology in general, and sadly stated that he had no interest in music of any kind.

I sweetly smiled, knowing that an afternoon at Henderson is all the outdoorsy-ness that I need in one year, or that I document most of my life online for the whole world to see, or that, most importantly, I fall asleep with my ipod every night.

Somehow unshared interests seems to be a common theme in my dating life. While I am not looking for a clone of myself, shouldn't I be looking for someone who has some of the same interests as me? Or does it really matter?

Does it even matter anymore if someone knows who The Beatles are, or not? (Heaven forbid!)

And we all wonder why I am single. (Sorry, this post was suppose to be funnier.)

Well in any regards, it doesn't really matter with Mr. Bachelor. He is spending his summer deep in the wilderness with limited power and running water, far away from the internet. (But then again, he just got on Facebook last week.)

Keep your fingers crossed for something good to come around.

Have a great weekend. Funny how summer snuck up on all of us so fast.

As Always,

Enough Strawberry Banana Juice To Last Us A While

Hello Kitties!

Sorry this post might be a little rambley jambley. Sorry. Just go with me. There are a variety of topics, and sadly none of them are really that connected. I am too lazy to think up clever segues.

First of all is a movie review. Two weeks ago. Yes, two long weeks ago, Jenny and I (along with every other tween in town) excitedly went to see 17 Again.

I have no shame in admitting that Zac Efron is definitely a thumbs up in my book. Sure, when I saw the first High School Musical I thought the hair was a little lame, but then I saw this, and well, come on!

The actually story of 17 Again is nothing that is too original. It's like Big, in reverse. But really there is not much wrong with this light-hearted flick. And bonus for you guys out there, it isn't so super girly, so even you might like it.

Zac definitely makes this movie viewable. At one point in the movie, there was an audible gasp in our theatre just from Zac's appearance on screen. I can say that thankfully Zac has joined the ranks of some of our other movie crushes, like Leonardo DiCaprio, Freddie Prinze Jr and Johnny Depp.

Three Good Things About This Movie:
1) Zac Efron in the blue sweater
2) Zac Efron tearing up. (Almost broke my stone heart.)
3) Zac Efron in the plaid shirt (Testify ladies!)

Zac Efron makes up for any bad that might be in this movie. So if you are a looking for a fun kick off to your summer, why not give 17 Again a try.

Alright new topic. Last weekend I successfully hosted a surprise birthday party for my dear Jenny. I spent most of last week arranging the logistics of the party, and praying that first, Jenny wouldn't find out, and secondly that she would be happy with a large birthday party. Jenny had spent the week before telling me about how she wanted to celebrate her birthday with a little peace and quiet. (Which gratefully the party was not.)

Thankfully everything went as planned, and our eclectic group of friends, as well as the birthday girl, had a funny night.

The party made me miss our Weekday Eves of yesteryear. Sadly with the summer quickly approaching, I am more than nostalgic for the old tyme days. Something I know we can't really recreate.

Moving on. Well I am pretty sure that I was born a good forty years too late. While I love living in the 2000s (Do we have name for this decade yet?), I have only recently realized how sweet it was in the 1960s.

With some free time on our hands and no new TV on DVD to watch, Jenny and I got the first season of the Emmy winning series, Mad Men. Taking place in a New York ad agency in the early 1960s,this drama filled series had Jenny and I hooked from the first episode. The music, clothes, excessive amounts of smoking and drinking make this show unlike anything else on TV. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. If you are looking for something new and a little different, give Mad Men a gander.

Jenny and I are waiting not so patiently for Season Two to come out on DVD, and excitedly for Season Three to start again later this summer.

My last topic of conversation, I have decided, will have to wait for it own post. It is that good. I am hoping to get it out before the end of the week. Give me a poke or two if my deadline is drawing near. (It's not that great of a story, but the best one I've got these days.)

Thanks to all of you for your continued love and support. I've been lucky enough to hang out with so many of you in person the last couple of weeks! (Sadly though, you already knew all of my recent stories.)

You know the line; Keep doing what you're doing.

As Always,

Oh Well

I am so sorry. Really I have no excuses, I have things that I have wanted to write to you all, but just am too lazy to begin. Motion City Soundtrack sums it up better "So much to say, but no words to convey."

In any regard, I should probably look into hiring a stenographer to transcribe my dictated posts. I promise, I'll get out something real in the next few days.

But in any regard, here is this to tide you over until I figure it out. Lame, I know.

1. First thing you wash in the shower?
Oh my. That seems a little personal, now doesn’t it? I don’t really take notes in the shower, so I don’t know.

2. What color is your favorite hoodie?
I don’t own one hoodie, let alone multiple as to have a favourite. I am no longer 16 years old. I’m classy.

3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
I know you can’t see it, but I’m shaking my head.

4. Do you plan outfits?
Yes. Yes! YES! One of the keys of being classy is looking good.

5. How are you feeling RIGHT now?
Fine.

6. What’s the closest thing to you that's red?
Nothing. Seriously. I will look again, but I really don’t own anything that is red.

7. Tell me about the last dream you remember having?
Oh. Sweet Onion Pop. The last dream I had involved a quest to find sweet onion pop (who knows, maybe it would be good.)

8. Did you meet anybody new today?
Not really. I guess the mechanics that looked at my car. But considering how quickly my love is dying, I don’t imagine the mechanics and me being life long friends.

9. What are you craving right now?
Nothing. I’ve already eaten way too much today. Oy!

10. Do you floss?
Don’t tell Flick, but not really. When I remember, which really isn’t that often. Whoops!

11. What comes to mind when I say cabbage?
Funny! Living at my grandparents’ house eating boiled cabbage. It might not have been that glamorous, but it wasn’t half bad.

12. Are you emotional?
Dramatic, maybe, sure. Emotional, no.

13. Have you ever counted to 1,000?
Who knows? Why would I ever have the need to count that high?

14. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it?
My teeth are too sensitive to bite anything cold. Oh ouch! They hurt just thinking about it.

15. Do you like your hair?
Sure do! I just got it cut! But I am in the age-old summer dilemma: stay dark, or go light?

16. Do you like yourself?
I have a mirror in my room that says, “I Like Me” And no, I don’t need it as one of my daily affirmations.

17. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush?
If he’s paying, why not.

18. What are you listening to right now?
Nothing. All is calm on the western front.

19. Are your parents strict?
Strict about what? What are they telling me to do? Go to bed, go right to bed?

20. Would you go skydiving?
No. No. No.

21. Do you like cottage cheese?
No way! Stop trying to peddle your half made cheese to us.

22. Have you ever met a celebrity?
Remember how I am best friends with RDH? And let’s not forget about Peter Katz!

23. Do you rent movies often?
What is the point, now that we have Video On Demand?

24. Is there anything sparkly in the room you're in?
Are you kidding me?

25. How many countries have you visited?
Two.

26. Have you made a prank phone call?
I hate pranks! Let me say that again, I HATE pranks!

27. Ever been on a train?
Well now, let’s see. We rode the train at Lagoon last summer. (Which was really not that fun. We had to look at all of the sad animals in their cement, barbed wire cages, living next to the putrid green lake.) and well, the Brooks and District Museum did have a caboose that I have taken many a tour group through.

28. Brown or white eggs?
White. But brown are fun too.

29.Do you have a cell-phone?
Yes

30. Do you use Chap Stick?
Sure. Whatever is on hand.

31. Do you own a gun?
Okay. As much, or maybe a little more as I hate pranks, is the amount of hatred I have for guns.

32. Can you use chopsticks?
Yes! Left and right handed!

33. Who are you going to be with tonight?
Don’t worry about it.

34. Are you too forgiving?
Thankfully our dear Peter Katz taught us there is no such thing as too forgiving.

35. Ever been in love?
No.

36. What is your best friend(s) doing tomorrow?
Planning to take over the world.

37. Ever have cream puffs?
Can you say overrated? There was a time when cream puffs were all the rage in my ward, and every FHE or ward activity; there would be cream puffs to greet us.

38. Last time you cried?
Don’t worry about it.

39. What was the last question you asked?
Oh barf. Who knows?

40. Favorite time of the year?
Fall

41. Do you have any tattoos?
Just the fake Canadian flag ones that are handed out on Canada Day.

42. Are you sarcastic?
Never!

43. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect?
No. Even though my roommates swore it wasn’t bad, I try and avoid scary movies.

44. Ever walked into a wall?
Not that I can’t remember.

45. Favorite color?
Blue.

46. Have you ever slapped someone?
Ha! My name isn’t Ashley Flickinger.

47. Is your hair curly?
Only because I tell it to be.

48. What was the last CD you bought?
Well, I bought it on itunes, but “More Nights”—Peter Katz (You should buy it too!)

49. Do looks matter?
Yes. I know people will say that they don’t, but they are just lying.

50. Could you ever forgive a cheater?
I’ll cross that bridge if I get there. (Knock on wood. Knock on wood.)

51. Is your phone bill sky high?
As far as I know, no.

52. Do you like your life right now?
Being a Lady of Leisure does have its perks.

53. Do you sleep with the TV on?
What does that even mean?

54. Can you handle the truth?
Probably not.

55. Do you have good vision?
It’s not that bad. Don’t ask Jenny if I can see though.

56. Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people?
Sometimes. But I am never really serious.

57. How often do you talk on the phone?
I avoid the phone like the plague.

58. The last person you held hands with?
You can’t see, but I’m rolling my eyes.

59. What are you wearing?
Care Bear pajamas. Yup, still classy.

60.What is your favorite animal?
Birds…ducks, geese.

61. Where was your Facebook picture taken at?
Oh. I can’t remember. Either my house, or my parents’ house.

62. Can you hula-hoop?
Sure.

63. Do you have a job?
N/A

64. What was the most recent thing you bought?
Lunch

65. Have you ever crawled through a window?
I usually find doors work better.

66. Is your hair up?
It rarely is.

67.Is your phone right beside you?
No. I don’t really know where it is.

68.Do you have a gf/bf?
I will answer your acronym with an acronym of my own. DWAI

69.Do you wish you were somewhere else?
Why would I leave if I have everything I want here? Besides, where would I even go?

Thanks for your patience. It is duly noted.

As Always (And this time I mean it.)

Entertainment For The Masses

Hi Everyone!

Sorry I have been gone so long. I really do have things to write you all, but I have been lazy this week. So maybe next week I will get all of the more serious posts out. (Who am I kidding, none of my posts are ever serious.) But in any regard, today, in honour of Friday, I thought I would entertain you with a two part musical blog, of sorts.

PART ONE: This is a questionnaire regarding itunes I stole from a Facebook friend (Who, yes, does happen to be a real life friend too.)

How many songs? 420

Sort by artist
First artist: ABBA
Last artist: Zoey Van Goey

Sort by song title
First Song: Ache For You—Ben Lee
Last Song: 50 Ways To Leave Your Lover—Paul Simon

Sort by time
Shortest Song: A Good Enough Day—Royal Wood
Longest Song: Champagne Supernova--Oasis

Sort by album
First Album: Abbey Road—The Beatles
Last Album: X&Y--Coldplay

First song to come up on shuffle: Why Don’t We Do It In The Road—The Beatles
Most played song: Ten Minutes—The Get Up Kids

How many songs come up when you search for "sex"?: 0
How many songs come up when you search for "death"?: 5
How many songs come up when you search for "love"? : 25

PART TWO: My “family” has been entertaining me on Facebook with this little game for the past couple of weeks. I have posted the first lines to twenty songs, and you have to guess the song.

To make it a little easier, I decided to only post Beatles songs. (Maybe that isn’t any easier for you.) I realized a few songs in, that I have just too many obscure Canadian bands on my ipod that I am sure no one would get the song. (I know, only a handful of us know who Hey Ocean is.)

I have added both well known as well as some less known Beatles songs for you super fans. So there is no reason you shouldn’t play along.

If by some odd chance you don’t know any of the songs listed. Please, please, please, use the Google to find out the title and look up the song on YouTube. Don’t you think you should know a little about The Beatles? They are kinda famous. It’s not like am asking you know the discography of Soul Decision. (Although take my word on it, they are pretty awesome too.)

In any regard, please leave a comment or two with your answers. Come on! It will be fun.

1. Close your eyes and I'll kiss you
2. Who knows how long I've loved you
3. When I find myself in times of trouble Mother Mary comes to me
4. In the town where I was born, lived a man who sailed the sea
5. To lead a better life I need my love to be here
6. Your day breaks, your mind aches
7. Try to see it my way; do I have to keep on talking till I can't go on?
8. Born a poor young country boy
9. I listen for your footsteps coming up the drive
10. I read the news today, oh boy
11. Baby's good to me, you know
12. You say it's your birthday
13. I think I'm gonna be sad
14. Once there was a way to get back homeward
15. Picture yourself in a boat on a river
16. Here come old flattop
17. Jojo was a man who thought he was a loner
18. One day you'll look to see I've gone
19. Desmond has a barrow in the marketplace
20. Here I stand, head in hand

So here’s to finally Friday, although, I don’t know why I care so much. Everyday is Friday in my life.

Good luck to us all.
As Always,

An Update Of Sorts

I used to be jealous of those people who would announce, whether on Facebook, Instant Messenger or blog, that they were computing from their bed. That with laptop in hand, they were still able to view their favourite You Tube videos surrounded by pillows and comforters, lounging on a push, pillow-top mattress.

But today I realized it really isn't all it is cracked up to be. Yes. This post is coming to you from my luxurious room. With The Beatles smiling down (okay, not really smiling, more blank stares) from my walls and with old magazines strewn about the floor, I decided to mix up it up today via my old rickety laptop and with internet....um...."borrowed" from my anonymous neighbour.

But maybe I'm doing something wrong. This set up doesn't scream comfort, more hot, annoying,and definitely bordering on uncomfortable. I was definitely picturing something a little more cozy than this. But in any regard, here's today's news.

My dear Jenny was gone for twelve whole days, and I didn't even say anything about. The house was quiet, but manageable. Maybe I am finally coming to grips with the idea of maybe one day, long into the future, living by myself. My jet-setting roommate has giving me plenty of opportunities to practise living alone.

I spent the second half of my sabbatical fighting my way through a horrible chest cold. Tell me how someone who has little to no contact with the outside world can catch a cold? Sadly, the cold meant, once again, I wasn't able to organize any Spin The Bottle parties while Jenny was away. (I kid, I kid. I know Cuddle Parties are all the rage around here.) But thankfully my contagious nature dissipated well before Jenny returned.

In other news, well, sadly there isn't much. I still am an active member of Odd Todd's 'Secret Society of Unemployed People' (SSUP) and maybe coming to a realization that there seem to be a whole slew of out of work people just as qualified as me, getting all of the many, many, many jobs I would be fantastic at. But, I am trying to remember that it only takes one job. Maybe there is just a whole lot more planetary alignment that needs to occur before I can once again rejoin the working class.

I recently became the new Gospel Doctrine Sunday School teacher in our ward. I only mention this as a point of journaling and by no means to brag or encourage you all to attend my class. Surprisingly it is the one calling that I have not been able to put on my church resume, even after all of the time I have spent in YSA.

Believe it or not, but this August marks ten years since I moved to Lethbridge, and subsequently into the Victoria Park Ward. Yes. I have spent the past ten years in the same YSA ward. Sure, in a family ward, ten years is only a drop in the bucket, but in YSA transient world, this feat is unheard of. So to mark this rare occasion, I think I am throwing myself an anniversary party. Details are still being arranged, but please, feel free to come and celebrate this milestone with me!

Sadly, the laptop's short battery is getting dangerously low, so I must say goodbye. Besides, it's probably about time to get on with my day. My grandparents use to tell me "People die in bed." (which I still don't really think makes sense.)

Keeping my fingers crossed and wishing for good luck all around.

As Always,

More Than You Could Do

I found this somewhat different survey the other day and decided to fill it out, just for you! Oh well, it's Monday. What more do you want from me?

I give you money and send you into the grocery store to pick up 5 items. You can only pick one thing from the following departments:

Produce: Apples, Honeycrisp, of course.

Bakery: Cake. Chocolate cake.

Meat: Steak

Frozen: Berry Citrus Five-Alive

Dry Goods: Fruit Roll-Ups (I can’t seem to get enough of them these days.)

Let’s say we’re heading out for a weekend getaway. You’re only allowed to bring 3 articles of clothing with you. So, what’s in your bag?

1. Dark Jeans
2. Black Tee Shirt
3. Teal Cardigan
   

If I was to listen in on one of your conversations throughout the day, what would I be most likely to hear?

1. Hear me now, believe me later
2. Oh my good heavens!
3. Testify!
4. Grab!
5. Figure it out!

Sweet, you just scored a whole afternoon to yourself. We’re talking a 3-hour block with nobody around. What 5 activities might we find you doing?

1. Taking a nap
2. Watching TV
3. Playing Tetris
4. Blogging
5. Reading a magazine, or two

We’re going to the zoo. But, it looks like it could start storming, so it’ll have to be a quick visit. What 3 exhibits do we have to get to?

1. Giraffes
2. Lemurs (The Calgary Zoo got some sort of deal on them. They are everywhere!)
3. Nocturnal (It’s just so creepy in there!)

You just scored tickets to the taping of any show that comes on TV of your choice. You can pick between 4, so what are you deciding between?

1. The Aftershow!
2. Iron Chef America (I’m still convinced they know what the “secret” ingredient is)
3. SNL
4. Crazy Quilt (Just so we can make fun of the lady’s poor taping skills and the raccoon’s stupid jokes)

You’re hungry for ice cream. I’ll give you a triple ice cream cone. What 3 flavours can I pile on for you?

1. Pralines and Cream
2. Nuttin’ Better
3. Rocky Road (Just because I’ve never had it)

Somebody stole your purse/wallet…in order to get it back, you have to name 4 things you know are inside to claim it. So, what’s in there?

1. My purple ipod
2. My black cell phone
3. My car registration and insurance
4. Ice Breakers gum

You are at a job fair, and asked what areas you are interested in pursuing a career in. Let’s pretend you have every talent and ability to be whatever you wanted, so what 4 careers would be fun for you?

1. Advertising
2. Journalism
3. Psychic (Don’t deny I already have the powers)
4. TV/VCR repair (VCRs could make a comeback!)

Keeping my fingers crossed. Real news update in the near future.

As Always,

Who Would Have Guessed

I don't know why I haven't mentioned it here before now, but I am now officially an aunt. I have known this somewhat important day was coming for quite a while, so I don't know why I chose to regale you all with tales of nonsense. But in any regard, I now have a brand new niece, Carmen Reece Garner.

We ventured to Calgary last night to meet the newest, eight hour old, Garner and all of us completely fell in love. (All though I'm not surprised. We all fell in love with an adorable puppy last year.)

Our 'Adults Only' family has now been changed, and probably for the better.

True Story

I Love Me

Okay, so I did it.

I became a Twitter-er? Twitarian? One who tweets? In any regard, I have joined Twitter.

I am sure some of you are thinking "Only now? I, alas, have been a Twitertonian since ought seven." (I don't really know why you are speaking old tyme.) These are the same people who also try and convince you that they joined Facebook when it was still in it's beta stages, or how lucky they were to get an invitation to join gmail. Yes. I'm talking about you.

I understand that Twitter is by no means a new invention, and that I am actually quite late to begin the tweeting process. But it isn't as bad as the people just getting on to the Facebook now. (What are you waiting for?) I saw a shirt the other day that said 'Your mom is on Facebook.' (Yup, and my grandma too.) which was only half as funny and one of me and Jenny's favourite jokes.

Anyways, the only reason I was hesitant to get on the Twitter bandwagon was the fact that there really didn't seem any point to it.

I mean, between my blog and Facebook, don't you already know everything you need to know about me, plus a little more? What is the the point of the the minute by minute updates? Do you really need to know what I am wearing for the day, or the fact that I just put nail polish on? Do you care about the minute details of my life?

But then again, maybe you don't care. Maybe I'm delusional thinking that all everyone thinks about is me. Or maybe I am just so self involved that I only think about myself and wish to broadcast my greatness to all of you. Is Twitter just fueling this Generation Me, or are we just following the great journaling example of Willford Woodruff, updated it for the twenty-first century, of course?

My friend and yours, Odd Todd, made a whole freelance cartoon for IFC about it. Check it out here.

But in any regard, here it is, for better or for worse. My day-to-day life, in 140 characters or less. Feel free to "follow" my updates.

Alright, it's been a few minutes. Better update my Twitter.

Good luck to us all! At least it's Friday. (But then again, I thought Tuesday was Friday.)

Fingers crossed.

As Always,

The Sad Truth

"We are all samples of one. If the paper says 10% unemployed and you're unemployed, then you're 100% unemployed."---James Dowling

This Time Expecting The Best

Oh boo.

Today is strangely the last day of March, and I have only provided you with a handful of entertainment. Whoops. Sorry. But in my defense, my life hasn't been overly exciting as of late. Plus I have to save all of the good stories for my tell all book, or failing that, my action packed reality show.

Okay, so today is more of a random sampler of stories, tidbits and musings. (Keep your fingers crossed that April is better.) Enjoy?

1. Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Do you know how much one chocolate (Candy. Yes I am Canadian/American bilingual.) bar will cost you at 7-11?
$0.50?
$0.75?
Maybe even $1.00?
Nope! Wrong!
$1.39!!! (Or $1.46 with GST)

Am I the only one who is scandalized by this?

I found this horrible truth out the other day when I went to get a newspaper at 7-11. Of course not having any cash on hand, and not really willing to use my debit card for a measly $1.50, I threw in some chocolate to justify my Interac purchase, only to find that my measly treat's (I swear they are making candy smaller.) price was so highly inflated.

I should have figured this out sooner. When standing in line to purchase my expensive candy and unhelpful newspaper, a little girl came in, threw a somewhat shiny loonie on the counter and asked the clerk how many five cent candies she could buy with her money. Without blinking the clerk answered four. I am almost certain my mouth fell open. Our beloved five cent candies were now becoming twenty-five cent candies. I don't know about you, but I for one don't think a Blue Whale is twenty-five cents worth of fun.

I guess long gone are the days when a dollar can buy you and your brother a handful of Tear Jerker gumballs, or watermelon Jolly Ranchers. (Two things make me ill to even think about them)

2. So what exactly have I been doing on my sabbatical? Developing a horrible habit.

Recently I have found an online Tetris game that has been occupying my free time. I understand that 1992 called, and they do want their game back. But this website is better than your run of the mill, original, blowing on the cartridges, Nintendo game. If you are at all a Tetris fan, go check it out here.

Please keep in mind that you will end up spending your nights mumbling at your computer screen, trying desperately to beat your last score and that soon your family and friends will have to stage an intervention for you. But in the meantime, it is pretty fun.

3. Alright, so I haven't exactly come to any conclusion as to superior fast food fish winners. (Alright, I'll admit I'm at little afraid to start. Fish? Really? What was I thinking?) but I sadly learned that Wendy's has removed it's fish sandwich from the menu.

Maybe they realized that consumers weren't looking for quick and easy fish. Or maybe they needed to dedicate more of their money advertising their 'Go Wraps'

Please, please don't get me started on the wrap craze that has seemed to over take the world. (A craze that I can't really get behind.) Have you seen the 'Big Mac Wrap'? When exactly did buns become passe?

4. Hey! Thanks for making it this far in the reading! This is the most important item of business. Our dear Peter Katz is making a new album! However he sadly needs our help. (The sad realities of being a semi independent artist.)



Please help him if you can! Peter and me are long time friends (okay, not so much friends, but... whatever) and I totally think he is honourable. So any money you are willing to donate to the cause will be greatly appreciated and I swear, appropriately used.

Remember, you can get his More Nights album on iTunes, and for only $9.90! That's less than a dollar a song, and much cheaper than you would find it anywhere else. Plus super accessible for you American fans.

But a take a listen to this sneak peak off of the new album! Fantastic!

Alright. Well I think that is enough craziness for one day. Thanks to everyone for your continued support. Keep doing what you're doing.

Knocking on wood, waiting on God.

As Always,

Too Much Time On My Hands

There's something that I keep forgetting to mention.

We got cable. Pretty awesome digital cable at that.

We now able to watch our favourite shows two hours early with the Eastern feed channels, we can return to 'Iron Chef' and 'Crazy Quilt' (Which, despite it's name, isn't about quilting at all. But is pretty crazy.) and enjoy all kinds of new, never heard of, cable stations.

Yes, there are days when I still miss my crazy MTV "reality" shows, but we are still tuning in for our 'Aftershow' fix.

In the past couple of weeks one commercial has seemed to be on every hour, of every day, on every channel we get. Take a look.

But recently this stupid commercial has made it way onto every website as well. Clouting this obnoxious song as one of the funniest things people have ever seen. (Personally, I think this homemade commercial is much better)

Okay, honestly, I have never had a Filet O' Fish. Somehow I just can't get behind fast food fish. Maybe it is because I am from a land locked province and I realize the effort and distance it takes to get this fish to me. Or maybe I am just not down with the whole processed cheese on fish. Doesn't that seem a little wrong? I mean, you wouldn't go to the best restaurant in town, order the best salmon and then smack Cheese Whiz on it, would you? (Maybe you would.)

Although, McDonald's is now not alone in trying to peddle fish burgers to world. Only recently have I discovered that Wendy's , Burger King and even Dairy Queen are trying their hand at fast food seafood.

So I have decided to find out once and for all if fish burgers are worth it, and to name a champion fast food fish winner. Like the Denise Garner Apple Taste Test, but sadly, with fish this time.

Let me know if you are interested in participating in this challenge, and if you know of any other fast food fish burgers that are a must try.

I'll make sure to post the results soon.

Good luck to us all. We are bound to need it.

As Always,

Just To Brighten Your Day!

Oh my good heavens!

I have just found the funniest sight.

Seriously, I was laughing so hard, it was difficult to breathe and I tears streaming down my cheeks. (Maybe I am just easily entertained these days.)

Check it out here.

Jenny and I love to check out all of the funny cakes at Walmart. But we never find any nearly as funny as some of these.

Anyways, just that, for now.

The Mystery Can In The Cupboard

Good morning everyone!

I am anxiously waiting for Jenny to wake up so that I can play her our new 'Sunday Morning Psych Up Song'. Take a listen here.

Please don't tell me that it hasn't made you more excited for your day, even if you aren't listening to it on Sunday or in the morning.

Alright, so allow me, just for today, to get a little sappy. If you aren't into that kind of thing, please stop reading...now. (Go listen to the song again.)

Last night our ward had a going away party for a guy that has chosen to further his academic life in Idaho.

Since I found out about his horrible plan to leave town, I have tried, to no avail, to convince him that both our local college and university would be able to fulfill all, if not more, of his educational needs, or that with my dual citizenship, I would be willing to move anywhere within Canada or the United States he wanted to go, or that I would be willing to give up my perfectly funny hot dog wedding, in favour of shotgun nuptials.

I understand that goodbyes are nothing new in the YSA ward, that literally every week someone is moving into or out of our ward. And you would be surprised that my dear friend was only a member of our ward for a little over six months. But still his party was full of genuine love and well wishes.

In the short time that he was in our ward he truly was a friend to all and an enemy to none. He went out of his way to talk to everyone he could, to show true kindness, fulfill all of his callings, and despite not officially being named Mr. Victoria Park, helped to promote and support any FHE, activity or any other event our ward might be a part of.

I am sure that he would be embarrassed to no end of the glowing praise I have given him. But I know he will be missed dearly by the Victoria Park Ward and will undoubtedly do just as well in his new YSA home.

I am not alone in wishing him well in all the paths life takes him and that we all hope he visits us every now and again.

Isn't it funny how much inpact someone can make in your life in just a short time?

Keeping my fingers crossed. Wishing for more than luck. And knocking on my fair share of wood.

As Always,

Alright. If That's What You Want

"Truth is, hear me straight
If I don’t change something, I’ll break
And I’m tired of living this way"

Thanks to our dear Peter Katz for figuring out exactly what I wanted to say, when just didn't have the words for it.

Okay, so on a happier note, I got most of my to do list done. I washed my car, and shortly after I was finished, as is my luck, it snowed and I remembered a little late just what a thankless job cleaning out the fridge is.

I also have had an exciting time getting reacquainted with old Disney movies. Maybe some of you watch a few too many cartoons, but it has been a while since I have have spent anytime with an animated film.

Because, luckily for us, Disney is releasing Pinocchio from some mythical vault and I have been seeing commercials for the new DVD, I decided to watch the second full length Disney film. I have to admit that it has been a long, long, long time since I had last seen this movie, and despite it's simple story and message, I enjoyed my time with the lovable marionette.

Although, please clarify something for me. There are people is this movie: Gepetto, The Blue Fairy, Stromboli. And there are animals in this movie: The cute kitten, Figaro, the gold fish, Cleo and the whale, Monstro.

But few characters seem to fit in both categories. Somehow in this town of people, a wily fox named 'Honest John' can seduce young puppets into acting and make various business deals. Strangely no one is curious about this talking fox. Maybe Stromboli should forget about the puppet without strings and take this gabby animal on the road with him.

Now, I know exactly what you are thinking. Denise, isn't Robin Hood your favourite Disney movie, and isn't that about a talking fox? So what is your damage with this movie?

Touche. Yes, yes it is true. I don't seem to have a problem with green hat wearing, bow and arrow slinging, fox Robin Hood. But in Robin's defense, all of the rest of the kingdom seems to be made up of animals, so a talking fox doesn't seem nearly as out of place.

Pinocchio is kinda a lame story. I don't think I will be adding the platinum edition DVD to my collection. But if you have a few minutes of extra time, you can check it out in small, easy to swallow chunks on You Tube. Take a look.

So Pinocchio got me hooked on watching old tyme Disney movies, and in honour of our dear Elder Garner, I took a viewing of Dumbo. Dumbo just happened to be Eric's favourite Disney movie as a kid and he might kill me for admiting this on here, but he would cry every time that Dumbo would go and visit his mom in circus jail and Baby Mine would play in the background.

Just like Pinochio, Dumbo is a pretty stupid story. But the baby elephant is just so cute, and I did have to choke back a few tears of my own during the sad Baby Mine scene. Pink Elephants On Parade still scares me as much today as it did when I was a nervous child, afraid of everything.

I also found a few Disney shorts that I loved as a kid: "Mickey and the Beanstalk" (My brother and I loved the song they sing about food.) and my all time favourite: "The Brave Tailor" (Seriously, there is nothing funnier than when he makes the haystack into a cigar.)

So I know it is a little lame, but I have enjoyed living days of yore. Any must see Disney films you think that I should add to my viewing list?

Doing okay with what I've got. Trying not to fall into deperation.

Good luck. Please, please, please, please, God speed! We all need you now more than ever.

As Always,

New Train Of Thought

See! I'm already doing better. Knocking out a new blog, just for you! It's still kinda early on Sunday morning but I thought I would post my to do list for next week just in hopes of actually crossing off some of them. This way there will be accountability, or something like that.

THINGS TO DO THIS WEEK:

1. Buy some food. Considering that I ate the last bit of edible food in our house (some weirdly textured, runny yogurt), I think we will be pretty hungry next week without anything.

2. Clean out the fridge. This one is huge. There is some pretty old eggnog hanging out at the back of our fridge that isn't getting any fresher. At this point I am just too scared to look at all of the science experiments that might be forming in our fridge.

3. Finish doing the dishes. There aren't a lot left to do, but there is a good surplus of dirty, cough syrup laced spoons in our sink. Plus after the fridge cleaning out, there are bound to be a plethora of dishes to clean.

4. Recycle Roundup. Newspapers and cardboard are spilling from our haphazard recycling location. Lucky for us we live so close to the recycling centre, although it has been more than a little while since we last paid it a visit.

5. Find a fantastic job. Of course one that pays tons of money, lets me laugh every now and then, with people who are in awe of all of my natural talent. Tall order.

6. Laundry. I own a lot of work wear, not so much "I'm a hobo-- your basic shut-in" wear. Laundry piles up pretty fast.

7. Car Wash. Our cold and snowy winter has left my car looking not so glamorous. Thankfully I have a brown car, so it isn't super apparent that the last time I cleaned my car was in September. But with temperatures predicted to be on the plus side for a few days, it might be time for my own show and shine.

8. Take another stab at 'Gone With The Wind'. I should probably try and get Rhett out of jail and see if Scarlett is able to save Tara with her dress made out of curtains.

9. Sleep. At some point this week, I should attempt one night of eight hours. Keep your fingers crossed for this one.

10. Figure out a little something for you. Now I understand that your life continues even when I don't entertain you with my own musings, but isn't your day just a little better just reading this?

Hey! Did you realize it was March? Maybe this will be my month. It's hard to trust a month with only 28 days in it, it seems a little shifty. I'm trying to stay organized, positive and sane for the next 31 days and hopefully things will turn around. One can hope, can't they.

Good luck to us all. Happiness can't be that far away.

As Always,

Figuring It Out, One Day At A Time

I hope you haven't given up on me entirely. For someone who likes writing, I am not doing a very good job at it. I haven't been busy. I haven't been on holidays. I have just been plain lazy. I know, I know, I apologized for this very thing last week. But I just can't get very motivated for anything these days. I hope you understand. I will dig very deep next week and force myself to bang out some entertaining commentary for all of you.

So, yup, because my life is oh so fascinating, how about another question and answer period?

What is your salad dressing of choice? Yes, I know 1990 called, but I still like Ranch dressing.

What is your favorite sit-down restaurant? Who knows now that Mocha Cabana has changed, and not for the better.

What food could you eat for 2 weeks straight and not get sick of? Macaroni and Cheese

What are your pizza toppings of choice? Pineapple. Always pineapple.

What do you like to put on your toast? I don't eat toast.

How many televisions are in your house? One. Look at us being old school.

What color cell phone do you have? Black. Much to sleek for me.

What does the first text message in your inbox say and who sent it? A guy in my ward who just got his mission call.

Who was the last person to call you? My dear Jenny.

Are you right-handed or left-handed? Right handed.

Have you ever had anything removed from your body? Tonsils and a frightening looking mole.

What is the last heavy item you lifted? I try to avoid heavy lifting.

If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die? Sure.

If you could change your name, what would you change it to? I would just choose to have one name, like Madonna or Cher.

Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000? I would probably do it for $10.

How many pairs of flip flops do you own? Zero. Flip flops are not real shoes.

Last time you had a run-in with the cops? June. The day we moved.

Last person you talked to in person: Jenny.

Favorite Month: September

Missing someone? Only Elder Garner.

Mood? Apathetic

What are you listening to? Just the loud fan of the computer.

Watching? Nothing.

Worrying about? Finishing this before the laptop battery runs out. I'm too lazy to plug it in.

What’s the last movie you watched? High School Musical 3 (Don't judge me.)

Do you smile often? Depending on where I am.

Do you always answer your phone? I NEVER answer my phone.

It’s four in the morning and you get a text message, who is it? Flick or Braden.

If you could change your eye color what would it be? I would just leave it the way it is.

Do you own a digital camera? Yes, but I always forget to take it with me. Plus, I need to get some new batteries.

Have you ever had a pet fish? Yup, thanks to the Aquarium Club. Me and Jenny are sort of in the process of getting our own fish.

Favorite Christmas song? I think I hate Christmas songs even more than I hate Christmas.

What’s your wish list for your birthday? New car? World peace? A high-five?

Can you do push ups? Maybe, but who cares if I can do a push up?

Does the future make you more nervous or excited? As Motion City Soundtrack so appropriately sings, "The future freaks me out."

Do you have any saved texts? Not on purpose. I just don't delete them from my phone until my phone complains to me that it is out of memory.

Ever been in a car wreck? Yes, and only my car got wrecked.

Do you have an accent? No.

What is the last song to make you cry? If a song made me cry, I don't think I would admit it.

Plans tonight? Take over the world.

Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom? Not quite yet.

Name 3 things you bought Saturday? Why so specific? Doesn't Saturday seem like a long time ago?

Have you ever been given roses? Oh. Yes. And, carnations.

Current worry? As Eric would say, "Don't worry about it."

What song represents you? Have you listened to my 2008 CD yet? "Fading Into Obscurity"--Sloan

What were you doing 12 AM last night? Who knows, the days and nights just fade into each other.

What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? I'll let you know when that happens.

Okay, so I'll get it figured out eventually. Sorry. Be patient with me.

God, please speed.

As Always,

Just What You Have Been Waiting For

Well, I have redoubtably left you in suspense a little too long. (Although I am sure none of you were losing sleep over my un-updated blog.)

When we last left our hero, the beautiful Denise was definitely not holding her breath for any confirmation that she truly did have a date to the big Valentines ball.

But let's back up for a minute. I was greeted last Thursday morning with a pounding headache and a voice at least two octaves below normal. So when later that night I finally got my confirmation phone call, I had an even deeper voice and absolutely no enthusiasm to attend any dance. Mr. Literacy said he was planning on cooking me dinner and had a few other surprises lined up.

If I thought I was feeling bad on Thursday, Friday was even worse. Pale, fevered, and unable to breathe, I put together some sort of formal wear for the big date. Jenny pleaded with me to call and cancel, but I feared it was too late for that, and gussied myself up as much as the situation would allow, straight hair, sparse makeup and all. I was never more happy that there aren't any photos to document the evening.

My date picked me up and we went back to his house where he told me dinner was taking a little longer than he thought. I tried to answer all of his many questions with more than a couple of raspy words. Finally, after an hour and only small remnants of a voice, we sat down to eat.

In front of me was roast chicken and vegetables. Although it was very apparent the the chicken was no where near to done, and when I forked the vegetables they made an audible crunch indicating their rawness. I silently prayed that I wouldn't get food poisoning, covered my meal in gravy and ate as little as I could get away with.

After dinner my date announced that we would be attending "The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button" as our pre-dance activity. Yes, that meant a three hour movie, in a skirt.

Now on any other day, I might have enjoyed the movie more. But as the night wore on and my medication wore off, I watched the movie with eyes half closed, alternating between burning hot and freezing cold. About half way through the movie I left to catch a glimpse of myself in the florescent-ly lit bathroom, only to see a pale faced, straight haired, glassy eyed version of myself. I didn't know how I was going to make it through the rest of the movie, let alone the rest of the night.

But with no other alternative, and near tears, I went back to watch Brad Pitt finally become his normal beautiful self, and wonder how a movie really about nothing, got so many Oscar nominations. The movie ended and before I could make any real protest, I was whisked away to the main event, the dance.

By this time, four and a half hours into our adventure, I sadly fear I finally had enough and begged my date to enjoy the dance with out me by his side. From the sidelines I watched newly formed couples and awkward date choices dancing the night away. I conceded to one slow dance , although at this point I was completely out of any energy.

As the dance ended friends, acquaintances and even strangers were concerned about my well being and shouted homemade remedies to me. My date drove me home, I wished him good health and then proceeded to receive the longest hug of my life. No exaggeration, at least 30 seconds, which doesn't seem that long, but try and hug someone for that long. Good luck.

Anyways, apparently, from all reports, my date had a fantastic time and has been raving about our great night for days.

My secret prayer was answered and I escaped any food poisoning side effects. A week later, still battling the remnants of my cold, the night seems more like a strange dream than reality. And with no photographic evidence, I do wonder if it happened at all.

Good luck to us all. Better luck next year.

As Always,

Like We're Friends, Or Something Like That

Okay. Sorry. I promise that I have written at least two full blog entries in my head, but I guess they don't count for anything unless they are published. My turn over time these days is really behind. My motivation is gone. I am hoping to find it again, maybe next week.

So last Saturday, Jenny and I went to see "He's Just Not That Into You". The book of the same name has been a staple of my night table since I purchased it 4+ years ago. Every time a guy forgets to call, disappears or doesn't ever ask me out, despite my constant flirting, I pull out the book and get a healthy dose of reality. This nonfiction work is a brutally honest break down of exactly when a guy is into you, and just not that into you.

The "He's Just Not That Into You" movie poster hung in our local Cineplex 'Coming Soon' section for at least a year. My friends and I curiously speculated about the movie every time we walked by, wondering how a small self help book could be turned into a full length feature film. After finally getting a glimpse at the vague trailer, Jenny and I went into the movie with no real expectations.

What I found the movie to be was a true representation of the book. Examples of times when guys are just not into girls. The movie made me laugh, gasp and even shake my head in sympathy. It seemed as if ever girl in the theatre could recognize their own life in one or more of the stories.

Should you go see this movie? I will give you this tidbit of information,and then you can judge for yourself. The male movie reviewer on CTV gave this movie one star, out of five. The female reviewer on CBC gave this movie four stars, out of five.

Three good things about this movie:
1. I loved the clothes! That sounds lame, but they really were cute!
2. It was good to see that I am not alone in my love problems.
3. The trailer of the new Zac Efron movie. I'll admit that he is my not so secret, secret crush.

Three not so good things about this movie:
1. Scarlet Johansen
2. Scarlet Johansen
3. SCARLET JOHANSEN!Oh boo! I hate her!

Okay, so maybe it wasn't the greatest movie ever made. It wasn't even one of the best 'chic flicks' I have seen, but it seemed to do it's job as a Saturday afternoon, girl's day film.

Let's switch gears just a little bit and talk about real life boy problems for a minute.

Remember the guy way back in September that stood me up because he was reading? If not, check him out here. He disappeared shortly after our literacy conversation, and despite the fact that we run into each other from time to time, we have never tried to rekindle what never really started.

So to my shock and surprise, Mr Literacy sort of asked me to the big 'Sweethearts' Valentines Dance. Well, he said if he wasn't working he would love to take me and if he was working that night, he would love to take me out another night. I flippantly agreed and he said he would let me know what his schedule was like.

That was a week and a half ago and surprise, surprise I haven't heard anything from him. With the dance tomorrow night, I have planned out my outfit, but am not wasting my time waiting by the phone to hear if I am privileged enough to go with him.

Oh well, I figured out a long time ago he's just not that into me.

Don't worry, I'll keep you updated as to what happens, but don't hold your breath for him to call me.

Good luck to all of us.
Keep doing what you're doing.

As Always,

When You Feel So Tired But You Can't Sleep

I think I have a problem. I just can't sleep anymore.

I went to bed last night, laid there tossing, turning and sighing for about an hour and then realized that it was futile so got up to continue my job search, check some email and think about cleaning up our kitchen.

So, yes the post time at the bottom of this entry really is when I wrote this entry.

Oh my good heavens! In my whole time on Facebook I haven’t seen anything pass around as quickly as ‘The 25 Random Things About Me’ note that everyone seems to be writing these days. Although I have been tagged, countless times, to complete my own list, I had no intention of actually completing one. But I caved and so here is my list.

I apologize to everyone who read this list originally on Facebook. If you didn't, why aren't we Facebook friends yet? You know that you don't have any friends until you have Facebook friends?

Anyways, here is my list. Feel free to lift the idea for your own blog or whatever.

1. Considering that they broke up 11 years before I was born and that John Lennon died six months to the date of my birth, I am a huge Beatles fan. Who else do you know, who, at 27 has not one, but two Beatles posters in their room? Since my discovery of them in the middle of Grade 10, The Beatles and I have been in a grand love affair. (Oh my good heavens, it just made sense why I am still single.)

2. I don’t have a middle name. Seriously. Nothing. This is a fact that usually doesn’t come up in casual conversation, but when it does, people are shocked, nay, outraged at my first and last name existence.

3. I love bagels. In fact, as I am writing this, I am eating a bagel. I love bagel sandwiches, breakfast bagels, bagels at night, bagel in the morning, bagel really anytime. However, I do not like them with cream cheese, and please put away those “dessert” type, cinnamon raison, apple, blueberry bagels. Give me a savory bagel with just a whisper of butter, and I am yours.

4. I don’t eat butter. Okay, maybe just a tiny, tiny, tiny bit on my bagels, but that is about it. People do find my butter hatred weird. I don’t really eat toast or popcorn and I prefer corn on the cob au natural, so there is no real need for butter in my life.

5. While we are on a similar subject, I don’t eat salt either. I really don’t eat chips or fries. (Poutine is another story)

6. I sadly have way too much of a sweet tooth. I love candy, but more specifically chocolate. Call me Claudia Kishi (way to get that BSC reference) but I usually have some emergency chocolate stashed away, just in case. Being a purist, I usually reach for Hershey Kisses, but really, any chocolate will do.

7. Since the age of five, one of my favourite movies has been Disney’s Robin Hood. I, sadly, can probably quote the whole thing to you. I have seen it way too many times to count.

8. I am addicted to magazines. I love them. I love them so much that I should probably work at a magazine, or at least start my own. Every time we are at the store, Real Simple and In Style, I swear, call my name.

9. I hated hot dogs as a kid. It seemed like every birthday party I ever went to had hot dogs. But strangely in my adult years I can’t seem to get enough.

10. I probably spend too much time in front of a computer. Between catching up on all the Facebook gossip, reading all of the many, many blogs I follow, watching favourite tv shows, checking email, and of course writing, re-writing, reading and re-reading my own blog.

11. I could be a blogaholic. I think of my whole life in terms of blog entries. Always on the lookout for the next post.

12. I love cleaning bathrooms. My bathroom, my parent’s bathroom, your bathroom, public bathrooms, really any bathroom. It’s weird, I know.

13. I have been cleaning bathrooms since a young age. In fact my mom had to sit me down as a small child and tell me, “When we go to someone’s house, you don’t need to clean their bathroom.” My response was, “What if it’s dirty?”

14. I knew in 1985 that Michael Jackson was creepy. I was terrified of the Thriller video when it first came out. And in fact, that video could be the reason I still don’t like Halloween. I do think he is, or was, a talented singer/songwriter, but I still don’t like him.

15. I also am unjustifiably afraid of the dump. Only Satan and Michael Jackson trump my fear of the dump.

16. I went to the circus for the first time when I was twenty years old. It was not fun. In fact, it was actually quiet creepy. I think had I gone as a child, the circus would have been my number one fear.

17. I talk to my family almost everyday, more specifically my mom. Thankfully they only live a block away, but since I moved out of their house ten years ago, I have have kept in pretty close contact with them.

18. It’s true. I did cry when I found out that Eric, my little brother, was a boy. After all, I already had one brother; heaven knows I didn’t need another. But I fell in love with him shortly after I met him, and I can’t even imagine our family with an extra girl.

19. It sounds really lame, but the best decision I ever made was to become a brunette.

20. I bought my car on September 11, 2001, and so far (knock on wood), it has been a pretty great purchase

21. I really love shopping. Grocery shopping, clothing shopping, really shopping for anything. I even love just window-shopping or bargain shopping. Maybe I just really like stores.

22. I own an obnoxious amount of black shirts. I would estimate 15+. Colour, apparently, is overrated.

23. I hate “thrill rides.” I don’t do roller coasters.

24. I can snap really loud. Although, snapping isn’t really a marketable skill, so I don’t know if it really is a handy talent to have.

25. Lots of people think it is weird, but don’t put all of my keys on one key chain. Car keys on one key chain, house keys on another, and if I still had church keys, I would have to wrangle up a third key chain for them.

Wishing for more than people with a hero complex. That wasn't the kind of answer I was looking for!

Good luck to us all. Keep your fingers crossed for better sleeping tomorrow.

As Always,

Class of '99

A happy six months to our favourite B-A-B-Y, Elder Garner. It is hard to believe it has been that long! Keep doing what you're doing!

So, you are never going to believe it, but this year is my 10 year high school reunion. Some days it really seems like just yesterday that I was in high school, but more frequently it seems like high school was more than a life ago.

With the help of Facebook, some people in my graduating class have organized a reunion for July. I have tentatively signed up to go, but I seriously, seriously, I don't recognize half of the people I graduated with!

I understand that some people have gotten married since I last saw them, or that they don't look the same as they did ten years ago (after all, I do have a new hair colour), but there are so many people that I have no idea who they are, or even were!

I had somewhat of a large grad class, but at the time I still knew 95% of my classmates. I would be surprised if I know 20% now.

But I think the worst part, and the part that I probably shouldn't admit, out loud, at least, is that I don't really care about seeing anyone from high school. Nor do I care if no one wants to see me. It seems as if so much has changed since high school, and most of it is for the better. I have a new home, new friends, new ideas, basically a new life. Why would I ever want to go back to life as a 17/18 year old?

But may it will be fun. Fun to remember the short three years we spent together, most of the time in classes we never think of, doing chemistry experiments that never worked, math that we never really got (I still don't get square roots), the stupid books we had to read for our English class and of course, the epic amounts of unnecessary drama.

I was so sad the day I graduated from high school. Sad that life as I knew it was over, that my friends and I would be venturing in different directions, probably never to see each other again. But surprisingly life has turned out okay, and heaven knows I wouldn't trade the life I have now to give high school another stab.

So we will see what happens in July. I might go to the reunion. I might have a good time. But then again, it has been ten years and I have survived just fine.

Sadly everyday is a weekend in my life now. Looking forward to a normal schedule and figuring out what the date is again.

Keeping my fingers crossed. Isn't it about time something work out for my good? Throw me a bone!

As Always,

Back At It

Okay, enough wallowing.

To be honest, I'm doing okay. A huge thanks to all of my family and friends for their love, support, food, movies, fun and encouragement. You all really know how to make someone feel special.

The job search is going pretty well. There are surprisingly quite a few jobs out there, and with all of my education and experience, there is no reason that I can't fall into something new quite quickly, God willing, of course.

So onwards and upwards.

On Saturday, I was kidnapped to go see Oscar contender, 'Slumdog Millionaire'. I had limited knowledge of the movie going in, but was excited to see it after all of the buzz that has surrounded this sleeper hit.

For right now, I am just going to go out there and say this could be my favourite 2009 movie. (Okay, I understand that it is still very early in the year, and I am not forgetting my last movie experience was the Twilight fiasco.)

This move was feel good, yet dramatic. Gritty, yet beautiful. Heartwarming, yet tragic. Nerve-wracking, yet predictable. Definitely different than the average Best Picture Oscar pick.

I will say that the movie had me riveted from first scene to the end credits. For a person with movie ADD that is huge. I wasn't able to take my eyes of the screen. I didn't fidget, check my phone, or stare at the people sitting around us.

So go see Slumdog Millionare, you just might like it. I am keeping my fingers crossed that this underdog takes home the Best Picture Oscar.

It seems like there are a million other posts festering inside of me, and now with ample time to get them out, there is no excuse for updates. Now just to stay motivated. (Anyone want to pay me for new posts?)

Keep your fingers crossed for me.
I truly am loved.

As Always,

I Guess It's Time

So dearest blogosphere, you mean as much to me as a real person so I should probably let you in on a little sad news. I got laid off on Friday. Yup, just like that, after 2 1/2 years. But I guess this world wide recession is real. There was just a shortage of work, and a surplus of workers.

As great as it will be to get a little extra sleep in time, let my wool pants have time to breathe and maybe catch up on some daytime TV, I think the reality of the no work and no money situation will set in sometime on Monday.

But please don't worry about me. I have already applied for my Employment Insurance (thanks federal government) and wisely my dad had encouraged me to save some money, so I do have a little nest to fall into.

Funny enough, I had already been applying for a few jobs this year hoping to get into something new and from my haphazard job search this weekend, I have a slew of new jobs to apply for.

Keep your fingers crossed that something good will fall into my lap soon enough.

Right now I am just following Odd Todd's advice, have faith and be positive.


Good luck to everyone. Please, please God speed.
As Always,

Reader Beware

Jenny and I did a bunch of stuff this weekend, although right now it all seems a little more than blurry. As I laid in bed last night I thought about all the things I wanted to mention today, but sadly today I can only remember a handful of things. Is old age setting in already?

With the help of the federal government, I took my GST cheque and got a well deserved haircut and returned to my chocolate brown tresses. What a world of difference just a few inches from my hair makes! I wonder why I spent so many years as a blonde!

So with no real plans for Saturday night, Jenny and I decided to hit up a movie. After a few minutes reviewing all of the Oscar buzzed movie choices in town, we decided to bite the bullet and see Twilight.

The Book Club read Twilight long before I decided to join and most of them enjoyed the book, and recommended that I read it. In my mind, I figured I could give reading the book a try, if I enjoyed the movie. We went to the movie with high hopes, especially after hearing the tizz so many girls had made about it. After all, Jenny and I were just as romantic as the next girl, and while vampires weren’t exactly my thing, I could over look it if the story was good enough.

But Twilight was the worst movie ever. Seriously. WORST MOVIE EVER.

Now, please stop crying. I realize I just offended 90% of the world and most of my blog readers with that comment. If you like it, that is awesome (Surprisingly, not everyone loved Dan In Real Life.) but please don’t make me watch it again.

What was so wrong with it? Where should I even start?

1. Everyone is so pale, humans as well as vampires. Do us all a favour and invest in some tanning cream or blush. At the very least, eat more vegetables!

2. Bella, what’s your damage? Stop walking around like everyone hates you. Stop thinking everything is about you. People at school were trying to be nice to you. Your dad takes you out for steak every week!

3. A half cute boy just asked you to the prom, and you just blow him off? Why? So you can chase after a weird, moody, over-dramatic, creepy eyebrowed vampire?

4. Wait, you love this vampire? This guy who is extremely dangerous, could eat you at any minute? A guy that you have really only known for a couple of weeks, you have just declared you undying love for him? Give your head a shake; something is not always better than nothing.

So despite its two hour running time, the movie felt like a life time. A life time of over dramatic, super intense, way too creepy, lame discussions with only five minutes of any sort of action at the end, just to keep us all from falling asleep.
Jenny actually had to poke me not to miss the intensely disturbing kissing scene because I spent the second half of the movie texting various people to keep occupied.

Alright, my bash is finished. Convince me I am wrong. Tell me that this movie was the greatest piece of cinematography and will be the new movie by which all subsequent movies will be judged. Tell me how much I will love the book. That despite it being even more dramatic than Gone With The Wind, that it is an absolute must read.

I give you permission to write a whole blog entry about how horrible The Beatles are. (But we both know that isn’t true.)

Back at the grind for another week. Thankfully January has gone by so fast, and with the warmer temperatures with us for most of the week, it feels like spring will be here before we know it.

Keep doing what you’re doing. So far, so good.

As Always,