I got home from work in a great mood. Changed into something a little less professional and gathered up Ashley and we headed out on our own adventure, with the A/C blasting the whole time.
We went to the automatic car wash, which did a great job making my car so shiny. If only my car didn't have leprosy. C'est la vie. And we rounded out our time before FHE with a trip to A&W. That's when the problems started.
As we are waiting to order our food, I am blindsided with a horribly sharp pain in my lower back. I tried to shake it off, but nothing was working. It felt as if I had been stabbed in the back. ( and not metaphorically.) I tried to walk off the pain, but nothing seemed to work. My skin turned a ghostly white (even whiter than I normally am!) and broke out into a cold sweat.
Ashley looked confused and concerned and suggested we go to the Emergency. I put her off for a while, but then afraid of burst appendix or small pox or typhoid fever, I agreed that we should head for the ER.
When we arrived at the Emergency room, the place was crawling with people. (And a lot of barfing kids.) I talked to the triage nurse who said, "You don't look so well, we will try to get you in right away." Well, right away in hospital time must mean an hour or more. Me and Ashley waited, and waited and waited. And in the mean time, as is always my luck, the pain went away. While I was relieved to have that over with, I was sad that I had come, registered and waited for so long, with no real symptoms anymore.
After a while they called my name and I was lead back to a smaller waiting room to wait for the doctor to see me. A nurse lead me into one of the rooms and handed me a gown to put on. And said to me, "Here, put this on, but keep your pants on, okay? Keep your pants on. Your pants can stay on." Like I hadn't heard him the first time he said it. And as if I wanted to have my pants off. No thanks.
I waited for what seemed a long time, and listed to some kid throw up again in the observation room next to me. Finally another nurse came in and took my temperature, pulse and blood pressure. And said to me, "Why don't you just lay down and wait for the doctor to come and see you."
I don't know how long I waited for the doctor because I think I feel asleep. The doctor poked and prodded me, and asked a bunch of questions, including, "Are you pregnant?" I replied no. But apparently that wasn't good enough. So he asked again, "Are you sure?" I insisted I wasn't and he said, "So you are really sure that you aren't pregnant?" Did he know something I didn't?
So after a few minutes he said, "You might have kidney stones. Maybe." What?!? What kind of diagnosis was that. I had waited for two hours to hear something that I could have just found out on one of my self diagnosis websites! And with that, the doctor left the room.
Confused and alone I didn't know what to do. Was I aloud to leave? Was that really it? Now what? What if the pain comes back? So I waited for a while for someone to tell me I could leave, but no one ever came. So I got dressed again and headed back to my car.
Please don't worry about me. I will be fine and I have felt fine the rest of the evening.Thanks to Ashley for making the wait a little more fun. Maybe I overreacted. Sorry I waisted everyone's time. But at least it made for a funny blog.
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