You Know What I'm Feeling

Well, remember how my movie won no FHE Oscars. Not one. And remember how Braden’s movie swept the entire awards ceremony? It is okay.

I may or may not have found a copy of Braden’s script while they were filming. And I may or may not have had two rewrites on my movie to try and make it half as good as his first try. My poor cast had no idea what was going on because, first, we shot out of order, and secondly, I continued to rewrite and edit parts.

Thanks to my illustrious team, excellent acting despite my poor directing. But thankfully it is all over, and Braden and I can stop the competition.

So, I got to host our FHE Oscars. Solo. My partner had fallen ill at the last minute and had encouraged me that the show must go on, with or without him. Even though all the jokes I had written were for two people. He offered one of his roommates to come and co-host with me, and then the roommate never showed up! But it is over, and I really am retiring from all other hosting and emceeing gigs.

Alright, in other news, guess what movie I went to watch last night. Guess. Come on. Give up?

TMNT (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles) Yup, can you believe it? I went. And you know what, quasi enjoyed it. Much better than Eragon (The movie that isn’t about a dragon) and only slightly less better than Music and Lyrics.

Here’s to:
A bright Tuesday, even though it is raining.
Our own Tiny Tim having his own Christmas Miracle and walking again.
Old birthday cake at work being the worst part of the day.
Our own Chairman of the Board, Flick, for putting on an excellent awards show.
The Ninja Turtles for working like a team again! Way to go guys!
My sweet Jenny, who will crawl out of bed to listen to my incredibly lame stories.
More fun and adventures and less work this week.
You. Thanks.

If You Want Me Too

Happy Monday and a realization that there are only two more days until piece of mind, relaxation and more funny stories than one can hope.

So here it is, the weekly Weekend in Review.

Jenny really is trying to not get voted out of house, and so continues to make us some of the best food I have ever tasted. Friday was no exception. Lamb patties with mint salad. Delicious! Friday rounded out with games with every inside joke we could think of from Punch Hinkson to guest bacon and a late night drive to the picturesque Fort Macleod. (Stop laughing, it really was nice.)

I spent the whole weekend driving the most beautiful SUV. One that actually turns! I really could drive something like that the rest of my life. (Stop crying Captain Planet. Remember how you litter when you think no one is watching?) It also gave me the opportunity to listen to some of my favourite CDs again. And rediscover my love of not only Sgt. Peppers, but also Revolver. (Don’t you love the Beatles?)

Last night we watched The Holiday again. All the girls loved it when we saw it in the theatre, and we loved it even more at home, sans boys. Although it did remind us all that we still wanted a movie romance. But we do know what you get when you wish for that. Instead of holding hands with Jude Law in a blanket tent, you get some Fatal Attraction boy that tries to woo you with the words of hymns. I guess the main point is to be happy with what we have. Whatever that is, or not is. Remember how spring has made us all crazy? Or maybe we were crazy to begin with.

At least we will always have Naan bread to comfort us when everything else starts to fade.

Good luck at the Oscars. Not that we will need it.
Love you…not that it matters anymore.

But Then Again I Don't

So, for those who have not read/or heard from my roommates (and how could you not, it is all we talk about) that we are going to Utah for conference in a week. A week from this very minute we will be in Utah. In preparation for this trip we have saved all of our pennies…literally.

The Utah Swear Jar was invented for this very trip.

The Jar is more like a weird piggy bank and place for all the spare change that we have. But if you donate money to the Swear Jar, then you are allowed to swear, like a real swear jar, but in reverse. Premeditated swearing. (We don’t swear…all that much)

So after a month of us dumping in all of our excess change, we have quite a pile of change! And last night, I counted it all out. And we came up with….





…$42.79! Can you believe it! Imagine if we would have started a lot sooner! I think with a week left of change dumping and taking back all of our juice containers, we should have around $60.00. I am not sure what plans we have with this money, but what a relatively pain free way to save our money!

Remember how:
I thought a camera on my phone was kinda dumb, and now I love it! Sorry digital camera, I still love you.

I am just glad it is the weekend. No matter what that means.

I probably shouldn’t have eaten all of that chocolate before 9:00am

I love you. Okay?

Late At Night And Without Permission

With the internet at home life as we know it is about to change.

Top Five Things To Do With The Internet At Home

1. Blog insistently. Case and point being this very blog. We know how the opportunity give you live up to the minute, fast breaking updates! As they happen! But really, not much ever happens so just be prepared for the same lame stories.

2. Dramatic readings of others’ blogs. A favourite game of ours that we invented at our old house. We find blogs that are just a little too serious/sappy and give dramatic reading for all of our friends. Be forewarned. We might just read yours.

3. Funny group readings of our own blogs. You have to understand that almost everyone I know thinks they write the best blogs ever. We are all fans of our own blog, much more than any other one. Thusly we like to read out what we have written to other people. Maybe we are a little high on ourselves, but we also just may be the funniest people we know.

4. Watch every SNL skit that has ever been imagined. Watch every funny YouTube video anyone has ever suggested to us. Watch Season Three of The Office and any other TV show we might want. Captain Planet, anyone? And watch Charlie the Unicorn, over and over and over. “Shun the non-believer.”

5. Increase the crappy/funny music we are going to need for our road trip. Lionel Ritchie, Brittany Spears, Soul Decision, Air Supply!

A very ordinary day to all of you. And a remembrance that life goes on, even if all of your hopes keep getting dashed by stupidness. No sense in getting over dramatic. Honestly, it isn’t worth it in the end. Or at least that is what you have to keep reminding yourself. I think I have enough emo music to get through any situation.

Love you, or at least like you for now. Never thought I would actually admit that.

PS—Remember how the alarm on my new cell phone just may be the most annoying thing in the word?

'Cause I've Been Housing All This Doubt And Insecurity

Well, its Wednesday, whatever that means. I guess it means the following:

1. There is only a week left until we leave on our trip. Somehow, I feel this will be a very slow week, even though we have a ton of things to do before we leave. And hopefully taxes come before then. We all just need to leave town for a while. Clear our heads - get refocused.

2. Spring starts today, which means the return of some of my favourite things. Geese, Spring Fever and Rain, although I have seen glimpses of all these things already.

3. Only two more days until the glorious weekend. Hopefully full of something rather than nothing.

Here’s to: roommates that support you (even if it is just to laugh at you), finally getting the Internet at home (sorry it took so long),new cell phones (even though I still love my old one), photo radar tickets (maybe I should slow down) and finally, awkward situations and cold nights (C’est la vie)

And I’ve been dying to get out
And that might be the death of me

Does the power of The Secret work, and if so, whose side is it on?

Thanks for not much.

The Happiest Of Mondays

I don't own a cell phone or a pager. I just hang around everyone I know, all the time. If someone wants to get a hold of me, they just say 'Mitch,' and I say 'what?' and turn my head slightly.
- Mitch Hedberg

But It's Not So Bad That It Can't Be Explained

Over and over I keep wondering why
Then I give up and see that look in your eyes

Guilty as charged
I've been convicted and tried

And I want to know
Have I gone too far
Have I sunk to a brand new low

And I want to know
If I've gone too far
Cause I've lost all my self control

I wish one of these would work out. I am tired of the song lyrics.

Stranger Danger

Well, I think I just tried to kidnap a child. Hear me out. I think I am a pretty nice person. Most of the time I am genuinely concerned about the well being of others, and truly do strive to make people’s lives just a little easier.

When I go home for lunch, I drive by an elementary school, and usually the kids are outside playing when I drive by. I am always fascinated with the kids and their drama. There is always a good game of boys chase girls or some girl trying to kiss a boy.

I like to reminisce about the days of yore and my elementary experience. Like when Dustin Richards gave me a Valentine pencil, and then my friend was mad because he wouldn’t give one to her, so she broke mine, or when Michael Brown tried to kiss me. Yuck! (He called me once to ask what kind of TV I had. He was weird.) Some days when life seems stressful, I always sort of wish I could return to elementary…of course knowing what I know now. (Think how fast I could get through those stupid cursive writing books we had to do!)

Anyways, today I am driving by the school, watching the kids play soccer, wishing that I could be 8 again, when I see a little boy who is crying and dragging is backpack down the sidewalk. It looked like his bag had broken, or was really heavy. There was something obviously wrong. So I thought in my head, “I should see if that kid needs help.”

So I got closer to the kid, and slowed down so that I could talk to him. When all the sudden the little boy saw me slowing down to help him (I promise!) and he got a terrified look on his face and ran away. I was confused until I realised what this offer of help would have looked like.

I almost stole a child. Whoops.

There were always rumours going around at recess of people in vans that were trying to kidnap people, and now I think I am one of those people. No doubt the kid went back to his friends and told them about how a lady in a brown car tried to kidnap him.

Happy payday to all of those who get paid bi-monthly! And at least tomorrow is Friday for those who didn’t get paid.

Love you. That’s about it for now.

Can Not Be Completed As Dialed

Does everyone remember how I hate my cell phone? No, that is a lie. I don’t hate my phone.

I found my cell phone in a rental car. And after finding out that the phone had been cancelled, I took it home to start our new life together. (The guy that had the phone before me only had one number in his address book…Taco. I am not sure if he knows the coolest guy in the world…isn’t that the best name/nickname, or if he was just a really big fan of Taco Bell.)

I love the personalized rings (it makes it a lot easier to screen calls, I love that it has all the numbers of everyone I could possibly ever talk to, and some that I will never speak to again, but just feel so bad taking their number out of my phone, that it is the same size as my ipod and together they like a pair with all the dents and scratches they both have.

But what I don’t love is the extremely overpriced bill that comes to my house every month. Every month I think, “I didn’t use my cell phone that much, did I? Why is my bill so thick? Roaming charges? I really checked my voicemail 134 times!?!”

I never am quite sure if I am overusing my cell phone, or if I picked the wrong plan, or if I am being gouged for no good reason. Every month I make the vow to only make important phone calls on my cell, or to not send so many text messages, but it never really works.

Part of the problems comes as:

1. Welcome to my generation. The cell phone generation. I am always quasi upset when I have to call someone on a house phone. (Or to make it worse, their family’s house phone!) Everyone has a cell phone, and only people that live with their moms (I still love you.) have house phones.

2. Life on the fly. Being YSA, plans are never really set in stone and what you do, and who you do it with depends on your availability. How easy it to change your plans and be able to call someone no matter where they are to tell them plans have changed. What if you want to have a party? All you need is one mass text message, and you will have more friends than you know what to do with.

3. Cell phones. AKA: The watch of the 2000s. Seriously, my cell phone is my information centre. If ever I need to know what time it is, what the date is, someone’s phone number, or even calculate a tip, there is my cell phone, handy with all of this information. My cell phone also works as my alarm clock and a good way to get out of weird conversations. (Much better than smacking your head.) Plus if there is secret, what better way than text messaging?

All I am looking for is lower cell phone bills. A new phone that is just as fun as the one I have now, not over pretentious. Heck, I will even keep my old phone if I have to! And maybe someway of keeping my old phone number.

When I talk to people about their cell phone providers, everyone has some sort of horror story. “Oh, never go with Company A. I love Company B.” or “Company C has a bigger range so your calls aren’t dropped like Company D.”

Any suggestions would be helpful.

Wishing I Had Brought Some Lunch

A Monday to you all, neither happy nor sad. No super exciting stories from the weekend. So another story from the days of yore. And today it is a story from college.

On top of all the computer and accounting classes we had to take, we also had to take a few “personal development” classes, which were some of my favourite. They were really about nothing, it just gave us a chance to talk and make stupid projects out of papier-mâché, or plan fictional holidays. Truly it was a waste of time and money, but funny nonetheless.

In one of my classes we had to give a speech about our greatest achievement. Having not achieved much at that point in my life, I just made up a really heart warming story. (Everyone loved it; I got an A, who cares if it was fictional.)

There were maybe 15 people in the class and a lot of them were single moms who said their kids were their greatest achievement. One girl said her CD collection was the greatest and someone else told a lame story about her cat. (Do you see why I did win, even with a made up story?) Anyways, I was beginning to think that these stories couldn’t get any worse, when ‘The Twins’ got up to give their speech.

Now, these girls were a couple of years older than me, so maybe 20 at the time and really were identical twins. And at the time they were still wearing the same clothes (Usually sweatshirts with cats on them.) They never smiled or really talked to anyone but themselves. Needless to say, they were incredibly creepy. People and teachers would try to talk to them and they would literally run away. (I don’t know how they ever thought they would get a job.)

So when they were forced to give this five minute speech, the whole class was excited to hear what they would talk about, and to just hear their voice.

The older one got up first, and in the most monotone voice I have ever heard, explained that her greatest achievement was that she never missed a day of school from Elementary to High School. And she missed one class in High School so that she could go to her grandfather’s funeral, and that she only went because her mom made her. (Weird, yes? Just wait.)

The rest of us in the class just stared at each other and held our breath as the next twin got up to give her speech. And this twin proceeded to give the exact same speech. Same words, same inflection, same monotone voice. Everyone sat there in shock. I don’t think the teacher even knew what to do.

The teacher approached them after class, and asked that they redo their speeches. They could talk about anything they wanted in the new speech, but they had to be different. And ‘The Twins ‘started crying, so I don’t think our teacher pressed it anymore.

When it came time to make personal webpages, they made the exact same webpage. And when the teacher confronted them about making them different, they cried again and then when we presented to our webpages to the class, they had the same webpage, one had a white background and the other had a black background. Creepy.

Sometimes I wonder what ever happened to them; they never did come back for the second year. Are they working somewhere, are they married, have they stopped wearing the same clothes?

College was a really funny time, and I did enjoy the time I was there. But I did meet some pretty…no really creepy people. Maybe next time I will tell you the story of the witch. Aren’t you excited?

Thanks for the weekend, whatever it was. Whatever you are. Whatever.
Where is the moment we needed the most?

Ranting and Raving...It's About Time.

Daylight Savings Time begins this weekend, which means we will be turning our clocks ahead an hour. Which means everyone will be tired and cranky on Sunday. Sounds like a good time! Can’t wait.

Daylight Savings Time was moved ahead three weeks and extended a week this year due to a Conservation Bill that was signed last year hoping to decrease individual energy use. Was this a good idea? I am still undecided. Here are my thoughts, if you care.

1. I am not a morning person. Ask anyone that has had the pleasure of talking to me before 10am. Daylight Savings Time is just a scam way to get you get up earlier. So if you would normally be getting up at 8…ha ha…Daylight Savings Time comes in a really gets you up at 7, but lies to you and pretends it is 8.

2. Because of the change in when Daylight Savings Time is occurring, everyone is confused. Somehow, I always liked President Monson making the announcements to change our clocks at General Conference. Sadly, neither Daylight Savings Time nor Daylight Saving Time Ends coincides with Conference. There will be no need for that announcement this year. Now I just have to remember on my own when to change my clock.

3. An article I read this morning compared this change to Y2K (biggest let down of my life!) wherein, none of the computers know about this willy nilly change to our clocks. And that these devises are programmed to change for Daylight Savings Time in three weeks. Does that mean come three weeks, we will be two hours ahead?

4. I am a Socialist. But sadly, and much to the dismay of my Captain Planet friends I am not an environmentalist. (Thanks Ms. McGuire for wrecking recycling forever.) Do I really care about conserving energy? Is it worth changing my whole body clock so that I will not turn on my lights until an hour later?

So in conclusion, Daylight Savings Time, may or may not be the meanest trick out there. If you chose to not observe this change, you will be late for everything and will probably lose all your friends and your job. Moneyless and alone. But at least you will be getting off work an hour earlier!

Good Luck to all of us! Don’t worry, by next Friday, you will forget it even occurred.

Lots of love.

The Open Road Is Still Miles Away

This morning, I went out to my car to drive to work, and I found it in a state of disarray. People who normally ride in my car should not be shocked by the mess of it. (Nothing ever really makes it from the car into the house.) However, I know when I came home last night I know that I didn't leave the glove compartment open nor did I have the sun visors down. So I have come to the conclusion that my car has been ransacked. However, what they took, I still don't know.


My CD player that I had in my backseat was still there, as was my discman with my highly funny Soul Decision CD. Not even my cell phone charger was missing. Nothing was taken from my trunk and even the Loonies and Twoonies where still with the rest of my change. I am not sure what the purpose the the ransack was if they didn't take anything. It must mean that I truly have nothing worthwhile to steal.

In other news, a big thanks to the Walmart Tire and Lube men for fixing my tire free of charge. I like to think it was because I was so hot. But I think it had something to do with my tire warranty. Regardless, thanks.

Here's to: Beautiful spring days, the inspired by real life events movie, My Best Friend's Wedding, musical offices (I think I will just stay in the boardroom for a while.) and to helpful parents. (I am the princess, but who cares.)

Love you tons
Miss you more
Sorry it took me so long.

The Weekend--What It Was and Where It Was Going

It is always hard to believe the weekend is over. I still don’t have a clean room, nor a script written for our FHE movie. (The movie is great in my head, I swear!) but I did have a great time with my ladies. On Friday, Jenny, made us some excellent Indian food. (She has a deep interest in India, if you didn’t know that….I didn’t know that.) My roommates have a deep love for the Pan Asian cuisine, and so almost everything is covered in Thai/ Sesame Oil Dressing.

I went to about 10 minutes of the dance, if that. I really meant to go earlier, but I didn’t make it out of the house until 11:43pm. C’est la vie. I also had to spend the rest of the night with boys with low self esteem. What are their problems? Seriously. Stop moaning and moping around. Suck it up, if you like a girl, ask her out. If she says yes, good. If she says no, be sad for a minute and move on. There is a surplus of girls, if one doesn’t like you, chances are another will. I don’t have time to listen to your tales of woe and elaborate plans to ask a girl out six months from now.

I did, on Sunday, sign a list asking if I would go on a date with a certain guy. How lame is that to get your friend to make a list…however, I don’t think anything will come out of it. Plus, is that the story you want to tell for the next 40 years? “Oh yes, it was so magical, I signed up on his dating list, and he asked me out.” Barf. They would never make a movie out of that story.

We spent the rest of the weekend watching The Office on DVD. Thank goodness for DVD TV Box Sets. Somehow it lets us stay caught up with pop culture, while not having cable…or a cable-ready TV, as in our case. It is a highly recommended show. It had me and Ashley clapping at the end, and now we are so super excited to watch Season Three.

Sunday morning, we left for church, only to find my car had a flat tire! BOO! So with the help of my girls (we asked guys, but none of them would come to help) we changed the tire. A lot of laughs later, and the help of some pirate instructions we were able to get things back to normal. Really Ashley and Jenny did all the work. I just stood there looking pretty and running back and forth for tools and my camera.

Here’s to, a wonderful weekend, even if the only productive thing was laundry getting done, to hymns that sadly are too funny to ever sing again, to finally getting time off to go on our exciting road trip, to the Utah Swear Jar, magnetic poems and to the Juice Master 2000 Plus. Thanks for a great weekend.

A New Month, A New Bird On My Calendar (The Pileated Woodpecker)

A happy March to everyone! Spring (and spring fever) are right around the corner!

Enjoy the quiz about myself. It is a throw back to High School when we would make up quizzes and surveys for each other all the time. Good luck!

Here’s to:

• taxes getting done. (Thank you Government of Canada for the money)
• the greatest road trip in the history of road trips being right around the corner. (If I can ever figure out how to ask for the time off.)
• Jim and Pam (so sweet it makes us all sick…and jealous, even if they are fictional)

Love you. Miss you, I guess.