Oh Well

I am so sorry. Really I have no excuses, I have things that I have wanted to write to you all, but just am too lazy to begin. Motion City Soundtrack sums it up better "So much to say, but no words to convey."

In any regard, I should probably look into hiring a stenographer to transcribe my dictated posts. I promise, I'll get out something real in the next few days.

But in any regard, here is this to tide you over until I figure it out. Lame, I know.

1. First thing you wash in the shower?
Oh my. That seems a little personal, now doesn’t it? I don’t really take notes in the shower, so I don’t know.

2. What color is your favorite hoodie?
I don’t own one hoodie, let alone multiple as to have a favourite. I am no longer 16 years old. I’m classy.

3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
I know you can’t see it, but I’m shaking my head.

4. Do you plan outfits?
Yes. Yes! YES! One of the keys of being classy is looking good.

5. How are you feeling RIGHT now?
Fine.

6. What’s the closest thing to you that's red?
Nothing. Seriously. I will look again, but I really don’t own anything that is red.

7. Tell me about the last dream you remember having?
Oh. Sweet Onion Pop. The last dream I had involved a quest to find sweet onion pop (who knows, maybe it would be good.)

8. Did you meet anybody new today?
Not really. I guess the mechanics that looked at my car. But considering how quickly my love is dying, I don’t imagine the mechanics and me being life long friends.

9. What are you craving right now?
Nothing. I’ve already eaten way too much today. Oy!

10. Do you floss?
Don’t tell Flick, but not really. When I remember, which really isn’t that often. Whoops!

11. What comes to mind when I say cabbage?
Funny! Living at my grandparents’ house eating boiled cabbage. It might not have been that glamorous, but it wasn’t half bad.

12. Are you emotional?
Dramatic, maybe, sure. Emotional, no.

13. Have you ever counted to 1,000?
Who knows? Why would I ever have the need to count that high?

14. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it?
My teeth are too sensitive to bite anything cold. Oh ouch! They hurt just thinking about it.

15. Do you like your hair?
Sure do! I just got it cut! But I am in the age-old summer dilemma: stay dark, or go light?

16. Do you like yourself?
I have a mirror in my room that says, “I Like Me” And no, I don’t need it as one of my daily affirmations.

17. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush?
If he’s paying, why not.

18. What are you listening to right now?
Nothing. All is calm on the western front.

19. Are your parents strict?
Strict about what? What are they telling me to do? Go to bed, go right to bed?

20. Would you go skydiving?
No. No. No.

21. Do you like cottage cheese?
No way! Stop trying to peddle your half made cheese to us.

22. Have you ever met a celebrity?
Remember how I am best friends with RDH? And let’s not forget about Peter Katz!

23. Do you rent movies often?
What is the point, now that we have Video On Demand?

24. Is there anything sparkly in the room you're in?
Are you kidding me?

25. How many countries have you visited?
Two.

26. Have you made a prank phone call?
I hate pranks! Let me say that again, I HATE pranks!

27. Ever been on a train?
Well now, let’s see. We rode the train at Lagoon last summer. (Which was really not that fun. We had to look at all of the sad animals in their cement, barbed wire cages, living next to the putrid green lake.) and well, the Brooks and District Museum did have a caboose that I have taken many a tour group through.

28. Brown or white eggs?
White. But brown are fun too.

29.Do you have a cell-phone?
Yes

30. Do you use Chap Stick?
Sure. Whatever is on hand.

31. Do you own a gun?
Okay. As much, or maybe a little more as I hate pranks, is the amount of hatred I have for guns.

32. Can you use chopsticks?
Yes! Left and right handed!

33. Who are you going to be with tonight?
Don’t worry about it.

34. Are you too forgiving?
Thankfully our dear Peter Katz taught us there is no such thing as too forgiving.

35. Ever been in love?
No.

36. What is your best friend(s) doing tomorrow?
Planning to take over the world.

37. Ever have cream puffs?
Can you say overrated? There was a time when cream puffs were all the rage in my ward, and every FHE or ward activity; there would be cream puffs to greet us.

38. Last time you cried?
Don’t worry about it.

39. What was the last question you asked?
Oh barf. Who knows?

40. Favorite time of the year?
Fall

41. Do you have any tattoos?
Just the fake Canadian flag ones that are handed out on Canada Day.

42. Are you sarcastic?
Never!

43. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect?
No. Even though my roommates swore it wasn’t bad, I try and avoid scary movies.

44. Ever walked into a wall?
Not that I can’t remember.

45. Favorite color?
Blue.

46. Have you ever slapped someone?
Ha! My name isn’t Ashley Flickinger.

47. Is your hair curly?
Only because I tell it to be.

48. What was the last CD you bought?
Well, I bought it on itunes, but “More Nights”—Peter Katz (You should buy it too!)

49. Do looks matter?
Yes. I know people will say that they don’t, but they are just lying.

50. Could you ever forgive a cheater?
I’ll cross that bridge if I get there. (Knock on wood. Knock on wood.)

51. Is your phone bill sky high?
As far as I know, no.

52. Do you like your life right now?
Being a Lady of Leisure does have its perks.

53. Do you sleep with the TV on?
What does that even mean?

54. Can you handle the truth?
Probably not.

55. Do you have good vision?
It’s not that bad. Don’t ask Jenny if I can see though.

56. Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people?
Sometimes. But I am never really serious.

57. How often do you talk on the phone?
I avoid the phone like the plague.

58. The last person you held hands with?
You can’t see, but I’m rolling my eyes.

59. What are you wearing?
Care Bear pajamas. Yup, still classy.

60.What is your favorite animal?
Birds…ducks, geese.

61. Where was your Facebook picture taken at?
Oh. I can’t remember. Either my house, or my parents’ house.

62. Can you hula-hoop?
Sure.

63. Do you have a job?
N/A

64. What was the most recent thing you bought?
Lunch

65. Have you ever crawled through a window?
I usually find doors work better.

66. Is your hair up?
It rarely is.

67.Is your phone right beside you?
No. I don’t really know where it is.

68.Do you have a gf/bf?
I will answer your acronym with an acronym of my own. DWAI

69.Do you wish you were somewhere else?
Why would I leave if I have everything I want here? Besides, where would I even go?

Thanks for your patience. It is duly noted.

As Always (And this time I mean it.)

Entertainment For The Masses

Hi Everyone!

Sorry I have been gone so long. I really do have things to write you all, but I have been lazy this week. So maybe next week I will get all of the more serious posts out. (Who am I kidding, none of my posts are ever serious.) But in any regard, today, in honour of Friday, I thought I would entertain you with a two part musical blog, of sorts.

PART ONE: This is a questionnaire regarding itunes I stole from a Facebook friend (Who, yes, does happen to be a real life friend too.)

How many songs? 420

Sort by artist
First artist: ABBA
Last artist: Zoey Van Goey

Sort by song title
First Song: Ache For You—Ben Lee
Last Song: 50 Ways To Leave Your Lover—Paul Simon

Sort by time
Shortest Song: A Good Enough Day—Royal Wood
Longest Song: Champagne Supernova--Oasis

Sort by album
First Album: Abbey Road—The Beatles
Last Album: X&Y--Coldplay

First song to come up on shuffle: Why Don’t We Do It In The Road—The Beatles
Most played song: Ten Minutes—The Get Up Kids

How many songs come up when you search for "sex"?: 0
How many songs come up when you search for "death"?: 5
How many songs come up when you search for "love"? : 25

PART TWO: My “family” has been entertaining me on Facebook with this little game for the past couple of weeks. I have posted the first lines to twenty songs, and you have to guess the song.

To make it a little easier, I decided to only post Beatles songs. (Maybe that isn’t any easier for you.) I realized a few songs in, that I have just too many obscure Canadian bands on my ipod that I am sure no one would get the song. (I know, only a handful of us know who Hey Ocean is.)

I have added both well known as well as some less known Beatles songs for you super fans. So there is no reason you shouldn’t play along.

If by some odd chance you don’t know any of the songs listed. Please, please, please, use the Google to find out the title and look up the song on YouTube. Don’t you think you should know a little about The Beatles? They are kinda famous. It’s not like am asking you know the discography of Soul Decision. (Although take my word on it, they are pretty awesome too.)

In any regard, please leave a comment or two with your answers. Come on! It will be fun.

1. Close your eyes and I'll kiss you
2. Who knows how long I've loved you
3. When I find myself in times of trouble Mother Mary comes to me
4. In the town where I was born, lived a man who sailed the sea
5. To lead a better life I need my love to be here
6. Your day breaks, your mind aches
7. Try to see it my way; do I have to keep on talking till I can't go on?
8. Born a poor young country boy
9. I listen for your footsteps coming up the drive
10. I read the news today, oh boy
11. Baby's good to me, you know
12. You say it's your birthday
13. I think I'm gonna be sad
14. Once there was a way to get back homeward
15. Picture yourself in a boat on a river
16. Here come old flattop
17. Jojo was a man who thought he was a loner
18. One day you'll look to see I've gone
19. Desmond has a barrow in the marketplace
20. Here I stand, head in hand

So here’s to finally Friday, although, I don’t know why I care so much. Everyday is Friday in my life.

Good luck to us all.
As Always,

An Update Of Sorts

I used to be jealous of those people who would announce, whether on Facebook, Instant Messenger or blog, that they were computing from their bed. That with laptop in hand, they were still able to view their favourite You Tube videos surrounded by pillows and comforters, lounging on a push, pillow-top mattress.

But today I realized it really isn't all it is cracked up to be. Yes. This post is coming to you from my luxurious room. With The Beatles smiling down (okay, not really smiling, more blank stares) from my walls and with old magazines strewn about the floor, I decided to mix up it up today via my old rickety laptop and with internet....um...."borrowed" from my anonymous neighbour.

But maybe I'm doing something wrong. This set up doesn't scream comfort, more hot, annoying,and definitely bordering on uncomfortable. I was definitely picturing something a little more cozy than this. But in any regard, here's today's news.

My dear Jenny was gone for twelve whole days, and I didn't even say anything about. The house was quiet, but manageable. Maybe I am finally coming to grips with the idea of maybe one day, long into the future, living by myself. My jet-setting roommate has giving me plenty of opportunities to practise living alone.

I spent the second half of my sabbatical fighting my way through a horrible chest cold. Tell me how someone who has little to no contact with the outside world can catch a cold? Sadly, the cold meant, once again, I wasn't able to organize any Spin The Bottle parties while Jenny was away. (I kid, I kid. I know Cuddle Parties are all the rage around here.) But thankfully my contagious nature dissipated well before Jenny returned.

In other news, well, sadly there isn't much. I still am an active member of Odd Todd's 'Secret Society of Unemployed People' (SSUP) and maybe coming to a realization that there seem to be a whole slew of out of work people just as qualified as me, getting all of the many, many, many jobs I would be fantastic at. But, I am trying to remember that it only takes one job. Maybe there is just a whole lot more planetary alignment that needs to occur before I can once again rejoin the working class.

I recently became the new Gospel Doctrine Sunday School teacher in our ward. I only mention this as a point of journaling and by no means to brag or encourage you all to attend my class. Surprisingly it is the one calling that I have not been able to put on my church resume, even after all of the time I have spent in YSA.

Believe it or not, but this August marks ten years since I moved to Lethbridge, and subsequently into the Victoria Park Ward. Yes. I have spent the past ten years in the same YSA ward. Sure, in a family ward, ten years is only a drop in the bucket, but in YSA transient world, this feat is unheard of. So to mark this rare occasion, I think I am throwing myself an anniversary party. Details are still being arranged, but please, feel free to come and celebrate this milestone with me!

Sadly, the laptop's short battery is getting dangerously low, so I must say goodbye. Besides, it's probably about time to get on with my day. My grandparents use to tell me "People die in bed." (which I still don't really think makes sense.)

Keeping my fingers crossed and wishing for good luck all around.

As Always,

More Than You Could Do

I found this somewhat different survey the other day and decided to fill it out, just for you! Oh well, it's Monday. What more do you want from me?

I give you money and send you into the grocery store to pick up 5 items. You can only pick one thing from the following departments:

Produce: Apples, Honeycrisp, of course.

Bakery: Cake. Chocolate cake.

Meat: Steak

Frozen: Berry Citrus Five-Alive

Dry Goods: Fruit Roll-Ups (I can’t seem to get enough of them these days.)

Let’s say we’re heading out for a weekend getaway. You’re only allowed to bring 3 articles of clothing with you. So, what’s in your bag?

1. Dark Jeans
2. Black Tee Shirt
3. Teal Cardigan
   

If I was to listen in on one of your conversations throughout the day, what would I be most likely to hear?

1. Hear me now, believe me later
2. Oh my good heavens!
3. Testify!
4. Grab!
5. Figure it out!

Sweet, you just scored a whole afternoon to yourself. We’re talking a 3-hour block with nobody around. What 5 activities might we find you doing?

1. Taking a nap
2. Watching TV
3. Playing Tetris
4. Blogging
5. Reading a magazine, or two

We’re going to the zoo. But, it looks like it could start storming, so it’ll have to be a quick visit. What 3 exhibits do we have to get to?

1. Giraffes
2. Lemurs (The Calgary Zoo got some sort of deal on them. They are everywhere!)
3. Nocturnal (It’s just so creepy in there!)

You just scored tickets to the taping of any show that comes on TV of your choice. You can pick between 4, so what are you deciding between?

1. The Aftershow!
2. Iron Chef America (I’m still convinced they know what the “secret” ingredient is)
3. SNL
4. Crazy Quilt (Just so we can make fun of the lady’s poor taping skills and the raccoon’s stupid jokes)

You’re hungry for ice cream. I’ll give you a triple ice cream cone. What 3 flavours can I pile on for you?

1. Pralines and Cream
2. Nuttin’ Better
3. Rocky Road (Just because I’ve never had it)

Somebody stole your purse/wallet…in order to get it back, you have to name 4 things you know are inside to claim it. So, what’s in there?

1. My purple ipod
2. My black cell phone
3. My car registration and insurance
4. Ice Breakers gum

You are at a job fair, and asked what areas you are interested in pursuing a career in. Let’s pretend you have every talent and ability to be whatever you wanted, so what 4 careers would be fun for you?

1. Advertising
2. Journalism
3. Psychic (Don’t deny I already have the powers)
4. TV/VCR repair (VCRs could make a comeback!)

Keeping my fingers crossed. Real news update in the near future.

As Always,

Who Would Have Guessed

I don't know why I haven't mentioned it here before now, but I am now officially an aunt. I have known this somewhat important day was coming for quite a while, so I don't know why I chose to regale you all with tales of nonsense. But in any regard, I now have a brand new niece, Carmen Reece Garner.

We ventured to Calgary last night to meet the newest, eight hour old, Garner and all of us completely fell in love. (All though I'm not surprised. We all fell in love with an adorable puppy last year.)

Our 'Adults Only' family has now been changed, and probably for the better.

True Story

I Love Me

Okay, so I did it.

I became a Twitter-er? Twitarian? One who tweets? In any regard, I have joined Twitter.

I am sure some of you are thinking "Only now? I, alas, have been a Twitertonian since ought seven." (I don't really know why you are speaking old tyme.) These are the same people who also try and convince you that they joined Facebook when it was still in it's beta stages, or how lucky they were to get an invitation to join gmail. Yes. I'm talking about you.

I understand that Twitter is by no means a new invention, and that I am actually quite late to begin the tweeting process. But it isn't as bad as the people just getting on to the Facebook now. (What are you waiting for?) I saw a shirt the other day that said 'Your mom is on Facebook.' (Yup, and my grandma too.) which was only half as funny and one of me and Jenny's favourite jokes.

Anyways, the only reason I was hesitant to get on the Twitter bandwagon was the fact that there really didn't seem any point to it.

I mean, between my blog and Facebook, don't you already know everything you need to know about me, plus a little more? What is the the point of the the minute by minute updates? Do you really need to know what I am wearing for the day, or the fact that I just put nail polish on? Do you care about the minute details of my life?

But then again, maybe you don't care. Maybe I'm delusional thinking that all everyone thinks about is me. Or maybe I am just so self involved that I only think about myself and wish to broadcast my greatness to all of you. Is Twitter just fueling this Generation Me, or are we just following the great journaling example of Willford Woodruff, updated it for the twenty-first century, of course?

My friend and yours, Odd Todd, made a whole freelance cartoon for IFC about it. Check it out here.

But in any regard, here it is, for better or for worse. My day-to-day life, in 140 characters or less. Feel free to "follow" my updates.

Alright, it's been a few minutes. Better update my Twitter.

Good luck to us all! At least it's Friday. (But then again, I thought Tuesday was Friday.)

Fingers crossed.

As Always,

The Sad Truth

"We are all samples of one. If the paper says 10% unemployed and you're unemployed, then you're 100% unemployed."---James Dowling