Wednesday, March 05, 2008

So Much To Say But No Words To Convey

There really are no words to describe today. I feel as if I have done three days worth of work in just one morning. But at least the week is nearing its end, and maybe tomorrow will be slower paced.

I am sorry to have yet another blog dedicated to the deficiencies I have found in dating, especially considering that 60+% of my readership is married. Maybe you have some light to shed on these situations.

This story is not my own but actually happened to a friend of mine. I called her at lunch to make sure that I could share this story and she just laughed and agreed that we should write a book of all of our dating tales.

A couple of weeks ago my friend met up with a guy and they had a pretty good initial conversation. A few days later, she got a message from him via Facebook that suggested that they get together one day to play their guitars. My friend wrote back, agreed that they should spend some time together and left her phone number for him to call and set up a time.

A couple of days without a phone call later, she checked her Facebook messages and found that this guy had written back. He was excited to spend more time with her, and then gave her his phone number; telling her to call if she wanted to get together.

Confused, my friend shared this story with us and asked us what to do next. Somehow, we couldn’t believe it, he had turned the tables on her. Now if they didn’t do something together, it was now her fault because, after all, he gave her his number.

The Call Me Clause, as I loving refer to it, appears to be making its way into almost every agreement we seem to make these days. Ownership of a situation has taken a big hit.

My friend never did call the guy to come over, and as a result, she never got a phone call from him either. But what if she had called him, then what? Here is another story.

So it was agreed that my friend and this guy should do something, he threw in the obligatory, “Call me” and so she did. She thought of something to do, and relayed the plan to the guy, who agreed that the plan sounded like fun, and then said, “Who all is coming?” Shocked, my friend stammered for a bit, never thinking the plan would include outside people. The guy said, “Well, I was thinking we could get a bunch of people together and go out.” My friend about passed out. What had happened? It seemed as if she now was responsible for planning a near ward activity.

Now I have to give my friend a standing ovation for what she did next. The rest of us have been in this situation and haven’t been able to come up with any contingency plan and have traded a quasi date for a group hangout.

My friend gathered her thoughts and her courage and said, “Well, you know what, I am not really a mood to hang out with a bunch a people, so I guess call me if you want to do something, sometime.” I don’t think she has heard from him since.

So, who is to blame? Is it the boys for apparently being so afraid of being alone with a girl that we need to travel in herds? Is it the girls for actually going along with these plans, thinking, something is better than nothing? Have we suggested a game of girls chase boys a little too long, that this has now become the norm?

In other oddly related news, one of the ladies at the office tried to set me up with her son. Recently divorced, three kids, oh yah, and he is 42. She was serious about it, and thought I “might be a good influence on him” Oh, did I mention that he just got out of rehab?

Here’s hoping things get a little better. Looking forward to our new Wednesday night tradition.

Lots of love.

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