Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Bah Humbug

Okay. Sorry to say it,but I hate Christmas! Really I do!

Only 5 days until all of this mess is over, and I STILL don't have any Christmas Presents. I love shopping as much as the next person, maybe more, but I don't like shopping at Christmas.

Reasons to Hate Christmas:

1. People asking if you are ready for Christmas.
Stop asking me that. Why do you care if I am ready or not. Do I really have to be ready? What if I am not, Christmas will come and go as it always has. It seems to be the only small talk people have this time of year. And then they proceed to tell you some lame story about how they had to wait in line for an hour to buy wrapping paper, or can you believe that all the fruit cakes are sold out!


2. Santa
Not a fan of him! Santa is among the creapiest people in our culture. He is right up there with Michael Jackson and clowns. (Subsquently, I saw a study that said that if someone didn't like Santa, they probably didn't like clowns either. It is true.. but don't get me started on the circus.)First, why does Santa live in the North Pole? Out of all the places in which to set up his operation, that is where he chose. Secondly, what is Santa's motivation? Why is he getting everyone presents, how does he get the money for that? Is this some sort of tax write off? Thirdly, we are always telling little kids not to talk to strangers, and then we take them to the mall and plop them on some old man's lap? Does this not say Stranger Danger to you?


3. Christmas Carols
Okay, Silent Night and other carols like that are fine. They remind you of the real meaning of Christmas. But song like Frosty (I don't want to hang out with a creepy snowman!) or Rudolph (Why excatly is his nose red? Shouldn't we take him to the doctor?) and my least favourite We Wish You A Merry Christmas (What is figgy pudding, and how ungrateful are you that you aren't leaving until you get some. What if they don't have any? Besides you went to see them, they didn't come see you...now get out of the house!)


4. It's a Wonderful Life
I think in the day, this movie was mediocre at best. It isn't really about Christmas anyways! It is about some whiney guy who thinks that no one loves him. Maybe no one does love you. Get over it. Stop being a baby. But they do fall into a pool at the dance. Why is there a swimming pool underneath a gym? Wouldn't that just wreck the floor?


5. Christmas Decorations
Some strategically placed items here and there may bring cheer. But that is never what people do. Why have one when 50 will look even better! People like to hold on to any decorations they might have received, no matter how old or ugly. "We can't get rid of this, Aunt Gerdy made this for us in 1954!"


Okay, so I guess I am a Grinch. Sorry. Just so you all don't think I am the angriest person in the world....


Reasons to Love Christmas:


1.Christmas Sales
As much as I hate trompling through the mall with the rest of the world, I do appreciate the sales! I also love the extended holiday hours. I wish all the stores were open later all the time.


2.Turkey
If you ate turkey on a random Wednesday, it would be wierd. (Really it would be) But Turkey at Christmas, is anything but wierd! Turkey is so good hot or cold, with or without cranberry sauce, in a bun or not. The most versatile meat out there!


3.Christmas Bonus
It is always nice to get a little extra money. But money just for it being Christmas and not because you worked a lot of overtime. Thank goodness for extra money!


4.Time off Work/School
Not only do we just get Christmas off, but also Boxing Day (Thank goodness for being Canadian!) And then we all get to do it again a week later for New Years!


5.New Loot
I know, I know, it is more important to give than receive. But sometimes, it is good to receive!

Only 5 Days to go, and we are done for another season! Honestly, I can't wait!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I hate Rudolf too. My mom loves that stupid movie with the talking snowman and the dentist and the miner and the Abominable Snowman, I hate it. I think his nose is red because he has hanging with his friends in Lysol park for too long. Rudolf's an alkie!